Movie Review: Colossal (2017)

Hello All,

    For those of you who haven’t been following all of these reviews, I’ve been taking a look at the Gamera series of films. I also put Shin Godzilla on my best films list for 2016. What I’m trying to say here is, I love giant monster movies. Granted, I’m a newer fan to the genre, but I’m enjoying most of the ones I’ve seen so far. At the same time, I’m aware of the formula for these films, a human plot playing alongside the monsters doing their monster things. A formula that can work when properly applied, but that can also be boring and downright awful when wrongly executed. That’s why I’ve been looking forward to Colossal, where it combines both the stories by making the human story the monsters conflict. So how well does this change in the formula work? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - Gloria (Anne Hathaway) is an unemployed writer struggling with alcoholism who moves back to her childhood town after her boyfriend kicks her out. It’s there she runs into her childhood friend Oscar (Jason Sudeikis), and just when she thinks she’s hit her lowest point, she finds out by accident that she is also in full control of a giant monster that’s been attacking Seoul, South Korea.

Pros - Anne Hathaway is great as Gloria, as you can really sympathize with the situation she’s going through at the same time. The story (without spoilers) is really interesting and really well told, as it unveils the layers over time. The supporting cast is great, if minimalistic, but they serve their narrative purposes well. The monster design is cool, if again minimalistic.

Cons - Jason Sudeikis is great in the film, but his character arc feels a touch wonky. Not enough to ruin the film, but still noteworthy. Also, the film can be considered slow to start by some, so if you’re looking for the action to start right away, prepare to wait a bit.

Final Score - 10/10

It met my expectations and frankly I think it’s the perfect type of strange movie if you’re in the mood for one.

Next Review: Unforgettable - No pun intended I literally forgot about this movie until I had a decent gap in my review schedule.

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Want to read more? Click Below for my last review. Hint: Last time I faced cinematic Doom. you can read that by clicking the link.

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Suggestion Box Review: Doom (2005)

Hello All,

    It’s time again to go back into the suggestion box, this time tackling one of the earliest examples of video game movies with Doom. Based on the popular first person shooter of the same name, this was also one of the earlier films in Dwayne Johnson’s filmography. A box office bomb at the time, it has since gone down in history mostly because of one admittedly impressive looking first person perspective scene. So how well does this film hold up? As well as you think, but let’s watch it anyways shall we?

Plot Summary - in the year 2046, a research facility on Mars is attacked by unknown forces. A group of marines are sent in, lead by “Sarge” (Dwayne Johnson), with his second in command “Reaper” (Karl Urban) and squad in tow, but they group soon finds out there’s more than meets the eye lurking in the shadows.

Pros - The first person scene is cool, if a bit jittery and forced in. Some of the actors are okay at best as well.

Cons - This movie is boring. Like just painfully boring. The plot is generic and predictable, the pacing sucks, there’s no tension, the monsters aren’t scary, the action sucks and the whole film is roughly ninety minutes of my life I’m not getting back.

Final Score - 1/10

Save yourself a lot of grief, and just watch the first person scene on youtube. This movie just sucks.

Next Suggestion Box Review: K-On! The Movie - We’re going back to the wonderful world of anime, this time with a schoolgirl rock band. I feel like if I watch enough of these I’m going to end up on a list.

Next Review: Colossal - I’ve actually been looking forward to this one for a while. Here’s the trailer for it here so you can understand why.

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Want to read more? Click Below for my last review. Hint: Last time, I returned to the Gamera Series to check out it’s third film. You can read that by clicking the link.

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The Complete Series: Gamera VS Gyaos (1967)

Hello All,

    Ah it’s good to get back to this series. It’s been too long since I’ve had my giant monster fix, and I’ve been looking forward to this one also. So where are we now in this series?

    Last time we left Gamera, he had just defeated the lizard Barugon. Now that one, and the last film were more serious in tone, less camp and more devastation at the hands of Kaijus. This one you’ll notice is a bit more on the kid friendly side for lack of a better term. There’s less destruction, more giant monster fighting, and one of the main characters is a child that (spoiler alert) practically saves the day. So how does this change of tone affect the film? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - When a series of volcanic eruptions attract Gamera into an active volcano, they also awaken the giant monster later called Gyaos. When Gyaos emerges and begins to wreak havoc, Gamera appears and the battle begins.

Pros - So like I said above, there is a lot more giant monster fighting in this movie. The fight scenes are really cool, and the special effects are pretty well done for the era.

Cons - There’s something about this film story wise that just doesn’t quite work. The human plot kind of just starts, and fizzles out, and happens to just play around the monster fights. There’s too many characters that really get nothing to do, and while the main kid isn’t annoying, he just kind of gets one really good scene and that’s about it.

Final Score - 5/10

The weakest film so far, it just kind of sits there. Like I said, the monster fights are cool, but the rest of the film is overstuffed with people and plot points that are basically irrelevant.

Next Complete Series: Gamera VS Viras - Next time, Gamera travels into outer space t fight the monster known as Viras. I’m not even joking.

Next Review: Doom (2005) - A suggestion box review this time, we take a look at one of the rock’s early films.

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Want to read more? Click Below for my last review. Hint: Last time, I watched a contender for probably one of the worst movies of the year. You can read that through the link below.

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Movie Review: The Circle (2017)

Hello All,

    I do really apologize for the shortness of these lately. It’s been really busy around here and quite frankly I’m just exhausted. It’s been a pretty hectic few weeks around here lately, and mostly the movies I’ve been seeing have been pretty mediocre. Out of the 17 I’ve seen so far this month (before this one) 8 have been between 4 - 7 on my scale. I don’t know what the anticipation for this film has been like, I know I’ve been hearing about it for quite a bit of time, so now that it’s here, let’s find out how it is shall we?

Plot Summary - When tech worker Mae Holland (Emma Watson) joins a powerful Company known as The Circle, she quickly climbs the ranks and gains fame along the way, but starts to realize the price she pays for having her life available 24 hours a day.

Pros - It’s a great cast they got assembled here.

Cons - Too bad they’re completely wasted. Jesus christ where do I even begin on this? All the characters are one dimensional, and mostly just serve as narrative archetypes. The plotting is nonsensical, as the scenes feel haphazardly spliced together without rhyme or reason. I’m not kidding about the cast being wasted either, since there's too many people either everybody else gets maybe a couple of scenes at most where they say a few things then bugger off for long chunks of time. There are references to events that feel like they were cut from the movie, it’s tone and message are all over the place,  and it very very VERY over simplifies complicated matters about the internet versus privacy that a better name for this film would’ve been “No Fucking Duh The Movie.” The ending of the film (spoiler alert) has the main character advocating for the end of privacy on the internet, no joke. Were they fucking high when they wrote this? What the fuck kind of thing is this? Who thought this film was okay? Worse part for me is, this is the last film Bill Paxton will ever be in, and it’s this abomination.

Final Score - 1/10

I hate this fucking movie, stay the fuck away from it, no matter what reason you have for wanting to see it. No one is good in this, everything this film tells you is blatantly obvious, and the rest is just a morally muddled mess. Stay the hell away.

Next: The Complete Series Gamera VS Gyaos - Yeah next week is going to be a bit of a slow one, going to try and catch up on these and suggestion box reviews.

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Movie Review: Maudie (2017)

Hello All,

    It’s been a long day for me. I’m exhausted, I want to go to sleep, and honestly I’ve had so much crap to eat today that I'm pretty sure I’m getting the Itis. So once again forgive me if I speed right through this, so let’s get to it shall we?

Plot Summary - Following the life of Canadian Artist Maud Lewis (Sally Hawkins) and her life living in her small house with her husband Everett (Ethan Hawke).

Pros - Overall, it’s a beautiful movie. Sally Hawkins just envelops the screen as Maudie, and the story is just honest and heartfelt.

Cons - If you’re not a slice of life type of film fan, then this is not a film for you.

Final Score - 10/10

It’s just one of the best films I’ve seen so far this year, plain and simple. Definitely see it when you can.

Next: The Circle - It has no reviews yet. This is going to be fun.

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Triple Movie Review: Born in China (2017) & The Lost City of Z (2017) & Their Finest (2017)

Hello All,

    It’s late at night, and I have a long day tomorrow, so I just kind of want to breeze right through these and go to sleep. So let’s get to it shall we?

Born in China Review

Plot Summary - Following a year in the lives of several animals found in the wilds of China.

Pros - As nature documentaries go, it’s rather well shot. It provides a tremendously cool look at part of the world, and the animals that live there, including baby snow leopards, which had never been seen on film before. John Krasinski serves as a great narrator, as he is both entertaining, while also not overpowering the subject matter at the same time. The stories they tell with the subjects are interesting, while at the same time being informative about some of the habits and lifestyles of the animals.

Cons - Granted, it’s surface level kind of information. This is a very for kids film, and while there’s nothing wrong with that, if you’re looking for the next planet earth type documentary, you won’t find that here.

Final Score - 8/10

It’s a great kids film, and while it’s not super informational, I think most people who see it will have a good time while doing it.

The Lost City of Z Review

Plot Summary - Based on the true story of Percy Fawcett (Charlie Hunnam) and his journey to find a mythical lost amazonian city, which he called Zed.

Pros - It’s a gorgeous looking film, and the cinematography captures the era and aura of the jungle well. The cast is phenomenal as well, especially Charlie Hunnam, but I do want to give a quick shoutout to an unrecognizable Robert Pattinson who has a great supporting role as well.

Cons - The film is a bit slow at times, and even with its longer runtime it still finds time to cut a lot out of the stories and various journeys shown in the film. It’s also a touch on the anticlimactic side in regards to the ending as well.

Final Score - 5/10

Admittedly, not knowing much about the film going in, I thought this was going to be a zombie film. I don’t think it’s a bad film, I just didn’t really get into it. If you know a bit more about it and think you’ll like it, I say go for it.

Their Finest

Plot Summary - In the height of World War Two, a team of filmmakers are tasked with taking a true story from Dunkirk, and turning it into a film that will boost the nation's morale.

Pros - The cast is great, and the film within a film aspect of it is interesting, and it also has a rather nice end scene.

Cons - From the start, the film never really hit the right groove with me. The film jumps in really quick and never really gets a chance to develop too much. The middle is fine, but then there’s romance angle mentioned that I never really caught on was happening that feels tacked on. The third act change in tone feels jarring, and really out of nowhere, which basically ruins the rest of the momentum.

Final Score - 4/10

Not quite an awful film, but I think honestly it’s just not for me. It just never quite hit a rhythm that grooved with me.

Next: Not quite sure admittedly, it’s going to be one of two films, but I really don’t want to commit just yet just in case.

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Want to read more? Click Below for my last review. Hint: Last time, we talked about something a bit more serious. You can read that by clicking the link below.

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Movie Review: The Promise (2017)

Hello All,

    Okay, so, before I begin the review today, I kind of have to talk about a rather serious subject related to the film, in order to bring you some context to what I’m about to talk about.

    During both the beginning of World War One, and near the end of the Ottoman Empire an event occurred which, while not entirely lost to history, is not talked about as often as another similar event during world war two. From 1915 to 1923, The Ottoman Empire (Now modern day Turkey) committed the Armenian Genocide, during which over 1.5 Million Armenian citizens were systematically killed or deported from the country entirely. Today (April 24th) is actually Armenian Genocide Remembrance Day, so (entirely by accident) I decided to go see The Promise Today, because the story is set during this time in history. While not the first film to cover this era in history, it is certainly the most high profile in recent memory.

So, on this day of remembrance, how well does this film do? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - Mikael (Oscar Isaac) is an Armenian who has moved to Constantinople to become a medical student. There he meets American Journalist Chris Myers (Christian Bale) and his lover Ana (Charlotte Le Bon), with whom Mikael falls in love. When the empire joins World War One, the government begins to round up Armenian citizens, including Mikael, who must find his way to freedom and back to Ana.

Pros - The cast is on point here, as each of the main three bring in tremendous performances. You really do feel for these characters, and what they’re going through, and the depiction of the events going on are honestly just brutal. The film’s got this real classical look to it as well, capturing both the era and the region beautifully in the background.

Cons - The biggest problem the film has is actually the love triangle itself. While not taking away too much from what we see of the events themselves, it doesn’t really add much to them either. It feels mostly like the genocide is just the background noise to advance the romance plot, which itself is not really interesting. The romance plot is mostly predictable, and what moments they throw in to change it up just feel cheap at best, and creepy at worst.

Final Score - 5/10

If you’re a romance film fan, especially of Titanic, then I’d say go for it. For anyone looking for that film that will truly bring to life the horrors of the Armenian Genocide, I’d say just lower your expectations. Anyone else, if you’re not interested, don’t bother.

Next: Born in China, The Lost City of Z, and Their Finest - So yeah, expect these tomorrow, as I’m basically just rounding up the last bit of the films I’ve watched in the past few days.

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Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Double Movie Review: Gifted (2017) & Phoenix Forgotten (2017)

Hello All,

    So these are two of the four movies I recently saw in one day. I am also writing this late at night, so I’m just going to go straight to it. So let’s see how these do shall we?

Gifted Review

Plot Summary - When Frank Adler (Chris Evans) starts sending his 7 year old niece Mary (McKenna Grace) to public school, it becomes apparent that she is incredibly gifted, prompting Frank’s Mother Evelyn (Lindsay Duncan) to file for sole custody of her.

Pros - The cast is phenomenal, big points going out to McKenna Grace for her performance. The characters feel like they have real depth to them, even the ones we’re not supposed to route for. The story plays out rather nicely also, having some really powerful emotional moments.

Cons - There are a few familiar plot points scattered throughout, but none that take away from the story too much.

Final Score - 10/10

It’s a perfectly good little heart warmer that I definitely recommend.

Phoenix Forgotten Review

Plot Summary - Based on a true event known as the Phoenix Lights, the story follows around the sister of one of three teens who disappeared trying to find them, as she seeks to learn the truth of what happened to the trio.

Pros - So the trailer is a bit misleading in what the real meat of the film is, as it’s actually the younger sister of one the missing teens re-investigating the case twenty years later. It does play out in a very normal documentary like way for a good chunk of it, so if that sounds like your thing you might enjoy it.

Cons - It sucks complete ass as a found footage horror movie though. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ve seen everything that happens to them. I’m not even kidding. Everything else about it is uninteresting, and just when you think there’s a gem of an interesting idea about to flourish, it just fucking ends like how every single one of these blair witch knock offs always do. There are plot points that make no sense, and the third act only happens because something is found, but no explanation is given to how or why it got there. It’s just, “Oh here’s the answer why, now the movie can end.” And it still drags on for forty minutes.

Final Score - 1/10

Fuck this movie. Stay the fuck away from it, it’s not worth anybody’s time.

Next: The Promise & Their Finest - Yeah so next I’m doing a double review for two different movies, then after that I’m doing another double of the other two I saw with the ones I just reviewed. Don’t worry I’m confused as well.

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Movie Review: Free Fire (2017)

Hello All,

    Holy shit a ton of movies came out this week. If I had known that sooner I would’ve gone through my original plans for last week of going through my suggestion box and Gamera reviews. I now have to put those far on the back burner, and I shit you not with this, I have so many upcoming films this week that I actually have one day where I have four films to watch. So with that in mind, let’s get through the first one of many of theses shall we?

Plot Summary - When a group of IRA Members meet with an arms dealer in a Boston warehouse to make a deal, tensions give way to a shootout, including an ambush from an unknown party, as everyone involved tries to find a way out.

Pros - I mean, for a film that's mostly shootout, it’s actually kind of interesting. The cast is interesting, the gunfight is well staged, and it moves along at a decent pace.

Cons - The main plot points start okay, and then they kind of decline as it goes along. There’s just not much beyond the shootout admittedly.

Final Score - 6/10

It’s not a bad film, and at 90 minutes if you have an afternoon I’d say go give it a shot. If you’re expecting more however I’d say don’t hold your breath.

Next: Retro Review E.T. The Extra Terrestrial - It’s the films 25th Anniversary, and I’ve never seen it before, let alone on the big screen. I hear it’s quite good.

The review after that is when I am doing the four movies, I’ll see how I feel on the way back how many I’ll review at once.

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Want to read more? Click Below for my last review. Hint: For my last review, I did a suggestion box review of a beloved classic. You can read that by clicking the link below.

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