Double Movie Review: Gold (2017) & A Dog's Purpose (2017)

Hello All,

    So last time we were here, we were talking about controversies in film. This one is a tad different from the last one, but still a touchy subject. Why did Matthew McConaughey have to get fat for Gold?

Okay I kid, but it’s kind of a heavy subject. For those of you who don’t know video from the behind the scenes of A Dog’s Purpose arose that appeared to be showing a German Shepherd in peril. I’ve seen the footage, and I will admit it doesn’t look good. However, parties involved have come out explaining in full what happened, basically stating that what was seen was only part of the footage.

Now, I love dogs, I always have. My heart goes out the the German Shepherd in question for being in that scary situation, but at the end of the day while there was some human error involved, the dog still made it out fine, and is doing well. Whether the story affects your wanting to go see it, it’s up to you.

As for me, I decided to go into this simply wanting to see how the film holds up regardless. So with that being said, let’s get to it shall we?.....but first…..

Gold Review

Plot Summary - When unlucky businessman Kenny Wells (Matthew McConaughey) teams up with noted geologist Mike Acosta (Edgar Ramirez), the pair end up finding one of the largest gold mines in history, but not everything is as it seems on the surface.

Pros - Matthew is clearly giving the role his all, and does a good job with it. The story moves along at a decent pace, and the third act is the best of the film.

Cons - The story hits all the familiar beats, the rest of the characters are amazingly uninteresting, and you can tell they’re trying to be like wolf of wall street. The friendship between Mike and Kenny feels non existent, and the ending is simply just dumb, and rather anti climactic. The film’s biggest flaw by far however, is that it’s simply just boring.

Final Score - 4/10

While still a technically competent film, it’s honestly just not worth your time to see it.

A Dog’s Purpose Review

Plot Summary - Following the multiple lives of a dog named Bailey (Josh Gad), as he helps his multiple owners through hard times, all while trying to find his purpose in his life.

Pros - Josh Gad does a nice job as Bailey, taking more of a sombre approach to everything just as a dog most likely would. There’s basically three plots in the film, and the main one with his first real owner is the best. The film also manages to have a fair share of both humorous, and even quite sad moments at times.

Cons - The biggest problem by far is just how overbearingly sentimental the film is. I love dogs to death, and hell the film even brought me to tears a couple of times, but at the same time it’s kind of hard not to when they just beat you over the head with it the whole time. The other plots in the film mostly feel like padding to get it to two hours. The film also has issues with tonal shifts, jumping from happy, to sad, to dramatic without any real rhyme or reason. The film also jumps huge amounts of time as well, making it hard to keep track of.

Final Score - 5/10

If you’re not a big fan of over sentimentality, avoid this film like the plague. Despite liking parts of the story, I’ll still admit it’s still not a terribly great film. I’d say see it if you want to, but I can understand if you don’t want to.

Next: I’m not sure if I’m honest, I have a couple of ideas on my radar, so stay tuned.

So if the whole animal cruelty thing regarding the film has made you angry, I can completely understand. If you live in Canada and want to help fight against animal cruelty, I recommend donating to the SPCA in your region. If you live in Nova Scotia specifically, you can donate through the link here http://spcans.ca/how-to-help/. If you live in other regions, the SPCA has locations all over the country you can support. I myself will be looking into it after I’m done here. If you live in other countries, please look into supporting local animal shelters in your area.

To lighten the mood before we go, if you’ve read my Resident Evil 6 review, I left a poll there asking about a potential special review which you can vote in by clicking this link: http://www.strawpoll.me/12206423

Links:

Want to read more? Click above for my last review. Hint: It’s an early contender for the worst film of 2017.

Follow me on Twitter, I’m also looking into making a Facebook Group.

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Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Movie Review: Resident Evil The Final Chapter (2017)

Hello All,

    Hey we’re in the last weekend of January, which means it’s our last chance before the month is up to see how bad we can end things. What better way to do that then to have not only one, but ii films come out that have issues surrounding them (Spoiler Alert: I’m going to review both of them, because fight me.) Sure we all know about the footage from a dog's purpose, but did you know that during the filming of Resident Evil 6 that one stuntman died and another one was seriously injured? Oh, and the one who died died around Christmas as well? Sure stuntman risk their lives all the time, it still sucks when people die and I honestly feel bad for the victims and their families. That being said, was their sacrifice worth it? Let’s find out together shall we?

Before we begin, I’m going to preface this by saying something. If you’re a genuine fan of this series, and don’t want me to spoil anything about this film for you, stop reading this now, see the film, and come back later. I am going to go into a seriously lengthy thing detailing a lot of spoilers so believe me when I say I’m doing you a favour. Everyone else, let’s begin……

Plot Summary - After being betrayed in Washington, Alice (Milla Jovovich) now finds herself in an unusual alliance with the Red Queen. Her goal, to retrieve an T-Virus antivirus, and save the world, before the umbrella corporation wipes out what’s left of humanity.

Pros - Milla Jovovich does her usual Alice thing pretty well. That’s about it.

Cons - Okay so, you know why I said the thing about the spoilers, because now I’m just going to say it. This film takes the entire franchise, and kicks it right in the dick. I’m not even joking. You want to know the big secret behind the whole franchise?

The T-Virus Apocalypse was Umbrella’s intentional plan the whole time.

So you know in the first film how the virus was actually stolen as part of a scheme to sell it on the black market by Alice’s fake husband? Yeah, that apparently was planned.

Take this moment to scream bullshit.

Now granted they don’t straight up say this, but they actually don’t say at all how the plan was put into motion, so this is the best answer I can give even though THIS LITERALLY MAKES NO SENSE.

There’s so many moments like this throughout the whole film that basically contradict the whole series. Truthfully, I really don’t want to write them all right now, because I want to go to bed at some point tonight. However, I have an idea.

I want you, yes you, to vote on whether or not I should make a post in the future doing so. I’m dead serious. In fact, if you follow this link by clicking here you can voice your opinion on whether or not I should.

In the meantime, you all probably saw this coming…….

Final Score - 1/10

Yeah fuck this movie. Go vote in the poll.

Next: A Dog’s Purpose - Because let’s go two for two on the controversial movies.

Links:

Want to read more? Click above for my last review. Hint: I did a suggestion box review for another movie I ended up hating. You can read that here.

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Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Suggestion Box Review #3: Neighbors 2 Sorority Rising

Hello All,

    Man It’s great getting back into the suggestion box reviews, they totally don’t want to make me punch myself in the face sometimes. Especially not this one, the sequel one of the few films I could not finish because of how painfully not funny it was. So how was this recommended sequel? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - Mac (Seth Rogen) and Kelly (Rose Byrne) are trying to sell their house, pending the arrival of their second child. When a sorority moves in next store however, they recruit old foes to drive them out.

Pros - It’s got a few funny moments. That’s about it.

Cons - Most of the jokes, and all of the story beats are predictable as shit, and while the cast are fine, the characters go through all the predictable character arcs you expect them too. It’s really hard to talk about comedies other than the fact that they're not funny.

Final Score - 2/10

Jesus christ this was painful, and I’m glad it’s over.

Next Suggestion Box Review: The Bourne Identity

So yeah, this was back when Jason Bourne was coming out, and since it is now out on DVD, why not take a look at the first one and see where it all began?

Links:

Want to read more? Click above for my last review. Hint: Ever wondered how I rated these films? You can read that here.

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Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Review Special: The Ratings Scale (0 - 10)

Hello All,

    Alright folks, this one has been finally requested, but it’s an idea I’ve had for quite some time. Now keep in mind, beyond this point everything you read is simply my opinion, and if you disagree with my opinion, congratulations you’re a human being whose entitled to do so, but these are still my opinions. Why mention this? Well, since I’ve started this blog, some of you all have been wondering what my scores mean and why? Well, today we answer that question for you.

Before we begin, let’s quickly discuss what I look for in a good film. A good film for me at it’s core, is a good story, told well, in a way that keeps the viewer engaged, and invested in what’s going on. You need to have compelling characters, whether they be good, bad, or in between, as long as they are interesting and have a compelling character arc throughout the story. Sometimes they don’t have too, but as long as there is a good enough reason why. What a good film basically boils down to is that it has to look, feel, and play out well on screen. If any or all of these are out of whack, that is what drags down the quality of the film for me, and that’s why we have a ratings scale. Why didn’t I talk about what makes a film bad? Because you’re about to get a big dose of why, and since I’m a big believer of saving the best for last, let’s start this with:

The Bad Scores (Or, the films I don’t recommend):

0/10 - (Below the bottom of the barrel) This is for films that has no redeeming value to me whatsoever. A film where either almost all of the elements are out of whack, or whatever is out of whack is just so pain stakingly bad that it overshadows anything good that could be brought out of the film. A film that I wouldn’t recommend even if you held a gun to my head, I give this out to only the worst of the worst which is why my example film for this is the one that created this on the scale for me: Pixels.

1/10 - (Extremely Bad) These are the films that are also extraordinarily bad, except for one single thing about the film. This could be as trivial as one good line, or anywhere up to one good actor trying his best throughout the whole film. Overall though, this one good bit cannot save the rest of the film no matter how hard it tries. I can’t recommend these films unless you’re a glutton for punishment, but even don’t say I didn’t warn you. For me, while the very first scene of the film was interesting, the rest of the film was such an abject nightmare that I wished for death of the whole genre, which is why my example film for this is: The 5th Wave.

2/10 - (Awful) An awful movie for me can have a couple of good things going for it, but still fails for the grand majority of the film. The most recent example I can think of, and what will be my example for this one is a film that was good looking throughout, and even manage to throw in some decent action scenes. However, since the rest of it was a scatterbrain plot made up of underdeveloped characters, our example film fits in here perfectly: Live By Night

3/10 - (Bad) This might be a case of using a numerical quite literally, but it’s true when I say the best way for me to describe a film like this is that roughly a third of it is okay. Like a bad comedy might have a decent joke every once in awhile, or great actors can be stranded in a bad film, or a film with a good idea is badly underutilized. No film sums up those three points better for me than: Keeping up with the Joneses

The Disappointing Scores (Or the films I might recommend):

4/10 - (Below Average) So why do I count four as disappointing instead of bad? Because there’s nothing I hate more than good potential squandered. These are the films that for me, represent that notion better than any other point on this scale. These are the films that as you’re watching them, you can see truly great ideas in amongst the chaos of bad ideas, and squandered potential. You’re sitting there hoping that whenever you see these brief glimpses of hope that they will lead to something, and more often than not you are left disappointed. I think the most recent example of this, and my top choice of this category serves perfectly for this: Batman V Superman Dawn of Justice.

5/10 - (Average) Man it’s difficult to describe average, because average I argue is probably one of the most different things between different people. So what’s an average film for me? It’s a film that has no real surprises, no real depth beyond surface level genre fulfillments, and yet they don’t do it terribly either. These are serviceable films, for me these are the films that I really can’t recommend either way, and would more often than not tell the average person it’s up to you whether or not you’d want to see it. For me, the best example for this one is: The Light Between Oceans

6/10 - (Above Average) So if average is what’s expected, what is above average? Well, maybe the story plays out differently than expected, or the cast can win you over despite a meh story. It’s a film that still follows the formula, but manages to change things just enough to exceed expectations. The type of film that I’d say you should see once to say you did, and form your own opinion from there. This is basically my softball recommendation, a film you don’t have to rush to, but should see before it’s out of theatres.  Example Film: Triple 9

7/10 - (Good) Not great, but good. This one might be harder to describe in depth, but for a quick answer I’d say it’s a film I’d say see sooner rather than later. Like, if we measured when to see a seven over the course of an opening weekend from friday night - sunday night, I’d say see it Sunday Night. The kind of film that admittedly while I wouldn’t see it again in a hurry, some might like it a lot more than me. It’s the kind of film that’s a good way to end your weekend. Example: Sully

The Best Films (Or the films I’d easily recommend.)

8/10 - (Great) This is a bare minimum must see for me. The film that, again, using that weekend format, is a film I’d say is a saturday night watch. A film that’s overall entertaining, but has more than a few flaws that prevent it from being something truly great.Maybe it’s got story points similar to other films that, while done in an entertaining matter, it’s still kind of sucks that they have to be there. Honestly, it’s a thin line sometimes between 7 and 8, but an 8 has to win me over just enough that I can recommend it despite some key grievances. For those of you who (like me) have a collection of films to watch at home, an eight can also be considered the minimum rating at which I’d say buy it on dvd when you can. Example: The Edge of Seventeen

9/10 - (Amazing) Now why did I jump so high in word quality for this particular rating? Well, I think great is an underappreciated word sometimes. Now, an amazing film, is a film that just barely misses the highest rating. Why? Maybe there’s a couple of things in the film that feel like they don’t quite match up to the quality of the rest of the film. Maybe there’s one bad actor, one bad scene, some weird lines, the film has a rather ugly moment in amongst true beauty etc. This can be the most frustrating for me personally because I want films to be the best they can be, so for any film to fall short by so little can be truly heart wrenching. Keeping up with our weekend timetable, I’d say at least Friday night. Example: The VVitch

10/10 - (A True Cinematic Experience) Again, a big jump, but hear me out. These films simply exceed all expectations, they grab you by the collar, and don’t let you go until the very last second. A film that I would say see it ASAP, then watch it over and over again. The type of film that if I had a time machine, I’d go back and tell everybody to see it whenever the first showing is available. The type of film that gets me out of bed and out seeing these, and wanting to tell you all about them in this blog. The best example I can give you for one of these films, simply look at my best lists for each year I’ve been doing this.

So there we have it folks. From the depths of my psyche and onto the page, my ratings system. Man this was hard.

Next Suggestion Review: Neighbours 2

So, there’s a couple of these from quite some time ago. I’m still going to do them, however if they seem slightly late, it’s because they are, and I apologize.

Links: (How Does it Look? Feedback would be lovely)

Want to read more? Click above for my last review. Hint: I pulled a double for the price of one.

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Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Double Movie Review: The Founder (2017) & Split (2017)

Hello All,

    I really debated splitting these up into separate reviews, but since I really haven’t given you guys one this weekend, I’d figure I’d do both at the same time. We got a pretty good one for you, especially in a January season which I honestly think has been pretty good so far. Sure most of the good films are the last of the oscar release films but hey they’re here for a reason. Still, there’s still hope for the good January original movie and this is what we have a mix of today. We have the oscar release movie with the founder and the january original split (which for the longest time I could’ve sworn was coming next week but hey, no one’s perfect.) So, how did these films do? Let’s find out together shall we?

The Founder Review

Plot Summary - When travelling salesman Ray Kroc (Michael Keaton) discovers a new type of restaurant called McDonald's while on his travels, he persuades the brothers to allow him to franchise the business, but he soon finds himself struggling under strict regulations and decides to take the business for his own.

Pros - Keaton is great in the film. The story is well told in Kroc’s evolution starting out as a man looking for a deal into a man who takes everything he can get. The supporting cast is great, especially the duo of Nick Offerman and John Carroll Lynch as the original McDonald’s brothers. Smaller roles are handled smartly and at the right moments, and all the characters fall into place at the right time.

Cons - The build up is a bit slow to get there, and even though it’s an interesting story to watch you still know how it’s going to end which kind of robs the ending of it for me just a little bit.

Final Score - 8/10

As bio pics go, it’s a pretty solid one. I’d say see it definitely.

Split Review

Plot Summary - When three teenage girls are kidnapped by Kevin (James McAvoy), a man with 23 personalities in his own mind, and are told they’re being held as a tribute for “The Beast”, loner Casey (Anya Taylor - Joy) begins trying to find a way out by any means.

Pros - McAvoy kills it as Kevin and his other personalities. In scenes where he has to switch between them on the fly, you can clearly tell when who is in control and when. The story is intense and interesting, as it keeps you on the edge of your seat as you try and figure out the mystery. The ending of it as well is simply awesome for lack of a better term, and believe me when I say I can’t wait to see what Shyamalan has next in store.

Cons - That being said, I do have a couple of slight problems with the film. While Claire is an interesting character, I’m really not a big fan of the other being so one dimensional. Sure it’s a scary movie trope but did it really have to be both of them? Also, as much as the film totes it’s 23 personality tagline, we really don’t see more than a handful of them.

Final Score - 9/10

It’s a big return to form for Shyamalan, and I highly recommend it, but it’s just so close to being so much better.

Next: So, I’m reaching into the suggestion box for the next idea, but I’m going to jump ahead to do it. I will get back to the other reviews, but this one is one I’ve been meaning to do for quite sometime, and since there is now a demand for it, it will be done. To make up for skipping ahead, i’ll try and catch up on the others this week as well.

Links: (I should also reformat this too when I get a chance.)

Last Review is Here: Last review was for a sequel that somebody might have been waiting for. You can read that here

Twitter Account is Here: You’ll get notices when the reviews are live as soon as I post them, plus any trailers, movie news, or updates on when I stream on Twitch. I’m always looking for new followers, and with more followers means more ways for you guys to contribute.

Suggestion Box is Here: Are you sick of gaps in my posts? Why not suggest a film or film series for me to watch? Suggestions will be completed in order received, and if you’d like to leave your name for a suggestion credit and anything you’d like me to promote (within reason) I’d be happy to do that too. This suggestion box will be a permanent fixture of the blog, as again I’d love any and all help you guys want to offer.

Twitch Channel is Here: I’ll admit, I don’t quite have a regular streaming schedule worked out, but if you follow either the Twitter account or the channel directly you will be notified whenever I go live.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Movie Review: xXx The Return of Xander Cage (2017)

Hello All,

    Sorry this wasn’t posted sooner, truth be told I wanted to catch up on some sleep. I really don’t have too much to say on this one honestly, so let’s just jump right into it shall we?

Plot Summary - Thought to be dead Agent Xander Cage (Vin Diesel), comes out of self imposed exile when a powerful weapon is stolen by a group of highly skilled individuals similar in style to cage.

Pros - The action scenes are entertaining, and the cast is clearly game for the material as well. The story is pretty entertaining for the most part as well.

Cons - The villains are uninteresting, and the film is trying a bit too hard to feel like suicide squad with mixed results, and some of the supporting characters get too little to do, especially Donnie Yen and Tony Jaa.

Final Score - 5/10

This is a lot like underworld for me, it’s dumb but can be entertaining, and if you’re not really into the xXx films there’s not a whole lot here for you. It’s dumb fun, I’d say take it as you will.

Next: Split - I’ve been hearing good things about it, plus it fits in better with my schedule tomorrow.

Links: (Ah this section is still terrible looking.)

Last Review is Here: My last film was a kid’s film produced by a kid. You can read that here.

Twitter Account is Here: You’ll get notices when the reviews are live as soon as I post them, plus any trailers, movie news, or updates on when I stream on Twitch. I’m always looking for new followers, and with more followers means more ways for you guys to contribute.

Suggestion Box is Here: Are you sick of gaps in my posts? Why not suggest a film or film series for me to watch? Suggestions will be completed in order received, and if you’d like to leave your name for a suggestion credit and anything you’d like me to promote (within reason) I’d be happy to do that too. This suggestion box will be a permanent fixture of the blog, as again I’d love any and all help you guys want to offer.

Twitch Channel is Here: I’ll admit, I don’t quite have a regular streaming schedule worked out, but if you follow either the Twitter account or the channel directly you will be notified whenever I go live.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Movie Review: Monster Trucks (2017)

Hello All,

    So, a little embarrassingly, I almost forgot to write this one today. Unfortunately I went home and had a couple of unexpected naps and basically just remembered to write this at the time of writing it. I mean can you blame me though if I had? Most of you are probably amazed I went to see this thing. I mean it looks so bad, it sat on a shelf for two and a half years, and it was an idea produced by a four year old and his dad? That’s clearly a recipe for disaster right? Well, let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - Tripp Coley (Lucas Till) is a high school senior who only has two goals: to build his truck, and leave his small town behind him. However, when trouble arises at the nearby oilfield, Tripp finds himself helping out an unusual friend.

Pros - So, rather surprisingly, some of the cast aren’t bad. Jane Levy plays Meredith, the love interest, but she’s actually given a better personality than some of these other films do. Sure she has a crush on the lead, but she does a lot more than that in the film. Thomas Lennon plays the bad guy’s number one henchman, and a good chunk of the film is actually him realizing what he has been doing is wrong, because he spends time with some of the other creatures, and learns to love and care for them. There’s a few more I can name as well, but let’s move on. The film doesn’t try to be too overly sentimental either, making this kind of both a boy and his dog, and getting a lost creature home story with more of the stronger traits of the story than not.

Cons - Lucas Till is sleepwalking through this movie. He puts a little effort into it at times, but mostly he just seems like he’s too cool to be there. They also have Rob Lowe as the one dimensional bad guy, and Danny Glover who does nothing except show up at the end. The story is also predictable as all hell, and really doesn’t get out of low gear until the third act. It also pads the run time out hard to make it over 100 minutes. The animations on the monsters also look tremendously fake at times to boot.

Final Score - 4/10

Honestly, with a touch more effort, this could’ve been pretty decent. As it stands, it’s below par. It’s not the worst kids film I’ve seen, but I still wouldn’t recommend it.

Next: xXx: The Return of Xander Cage - I actually have to watch the first one now, so I’ll wrap this up now.

Links: (Oh god this is still ugly.)

Last Review is Here: My last review is for a film you’ve most likely never heard of, unless you read it of course. You can read that here.

Twitter Account is Here: You’ll get notices when the reviews are live as soon as I post them, plus any trailers, movie news, or updates on when I stream on Twitch. I’m always looking for new followers, and with more followers means more ways for you guys to contribute.

Suggestion Box is Here: Are you sick of gaps in my posts? Why not suggest a film or film series for me to watch? Suggestions will be completed in order received, and if you’d like to leave your name for a suggestion credit and anything you’d like me to promote (within reason) I’d be happy to do that too. This suggestion box will be a permanent fixture of the blog, as again I’d love any and all help you guys want to offer.

Twitch Channel is Here: I’ll admit, I don’t quite have a regular streaming schedule worked out, but if you follow either the Twitter account or the channel directly you will be notified whenever I go live.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.