Hello All,
I’m writing this some time after the livestream has ended. If you have missed it, I have good news, there is a playlist you can watch by clicking this link here. There will also be a full version, which at the time of writing this, is being uploaded, but if you subscribe to our youtube channel here. I’m also considering a soundcloud for only audio listeners, but we’ll put a pin in that for now.
So since I have seen the first one, you’re probably all thinking, what about the second one? Well, I will watch it, but first, certain conditions must be met.
So what do I require? Let me show you.
Fifty Shades Darker Livestream and Follow up written review - 90 page likes total, and at least 10 shares of three different reviews following this one (Not including my own).
That’ll give me enough time to recover, and for you guys to rally more people to watch me suffer.
Now, onto the review.
Plot Summary - Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) meets Billionaire Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan), and the pair begin to hit it off. However, when Christian introduces her to his BDSM lifestyle, she finds herself torn between the man, and the way he loves her.
Pros - The best thing I can say about the film, is that less than half a dozen times, it had just the perfect timing when it came to what I can best describe as complete, and utter, unironic, self awareness. Ana has these great moments of some sign of a personality, and when you get those brief glimpses, they’re actually pretty funny.
Cons - This film is fucking awful besides that. Maybe it’s simply the fact that the film feels like it wasn’t made by real people of planet earth, but honestly from the moment it started, I just did not like it. This movie is just pure audio visual rape, and I honestly feel sick as a dog from watching it. This movie is evil, and needs to be burned alive.
Final Score - 0/10
This is now the worst film I’ve ever watched for this blog. I’m not joking. I honestly think i’d feel less sick watching a serbian film at this point. If you haven’t already, stay the fuck far away from it.
Next: Table 19 & Wilson - That’s right folks, I’m doing a double feature. I totally won’t regret this tomorrow.
Links:
Want to read more? Click Below for my last review. Hint: It was a suggestion box review that looks so much better now after this.
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Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.
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