Movie Review: Chips (2017)

Hello All,

    Hey it’s our second tv show turned rebooted movie in about a month, probably less. Anyways, this time it’s an adaptation of a show much older than myself, that i really don’t know anything about. So how is this reintroduction to this franchise? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - When Officer Frank Poncherello (Michael Pena) is sent undercover in the California Highway Patrol, he’s partnered with Rookie Cop Jon Baker (Dax Shepard), as he tries to find a set of dirty cops within the department.

Pros - There were like, two jokes I chuckled at.

Cons - For a cop film, it’s surprisingly has very little to do with cops, at least in terms of the humour. It’s surprisingly just a vast amount of immature humour, that almost has nothing to do with any of the situation. The story itself is cliche and uninteresting, and honestly doesn’t allow you to get invested into anyone at all.

Final Score - 1/10

This is just a hollow film through and through. I don’t even want to call it a comedy, because it’s just not funny. Stay away from this one.

Next: Suggestion Box Review Girls Und Panzer Der Film - Yep. That’s really what it’s called.

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Want to read more? Click Below for my last review. Hint: If you wanted to see my reviews of the new movies for this week, you can read that here.

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Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Double Movie Review: Baby Boss (2017) & Ghost in the Shell (2017)

Hello All,

    At the time of writing this, it is 1:12am. I have seen the two, new, wide release movies out this week, already, so I guess I’m playing catch up the rest of the week. These are also both adaptations as I found out. I already knew about Ghost in the Shell, but did you know Boss Baby is based on a book? Yep, I was shocked too. So how well did these adaptations translate? Let’s find out together shall we?

Boss Baby Review

Plot Summary - Tim Templeton (Tobey Maguire as an adult and Miles Christopher Bakshi as a child), is a normal seven year old boy, until one day, a new baby arrives, who calls himself The Boss Baby (Alec Baldwin). Tim is resistant to him, until he learns why the baby is here, and decides to help him.

Pros - Some of the animated sequences are really well done. They’re nice and colorful, and make full use of the environment and artstyle. There’s also some solid jokes sprinkled in throughout, and the voice cast is okay overall.

Cons - This is sadly another example of a rudimentary kids film. Despite the few good moments, it’s just filled in between with cliche moments, and jokes that either fall flat, or make no sense for anyone, especially children. It also feels padded at times, dragging it along at not a painful pace, but still noticeable enough.

Final Score - 3/10

It’s not awful, but it’s not good either. It’s a very easy pass, unless you have very young kids, or can tolerate simple humour.

Ghost in the Shell Review

Plot Summary - Cyborg Counter Cyberterrorist Field Commander The Major (Scarlett Johansson) and her section 9 taskforce must take down a radical hacker, who has his eyes set on taking down Hank Robotics, the most powerful industry in the world.

Pros - The film is amazing to look at. It’s probably one of the few films I’d definitely recommend seeing in premiere 3D if you can. The cast is great as well, including a great subtle performance from “Beat” Takeshi. The action scenes are cool, and I do like the tweaks they made to the story to make it stand apart from the animated movie.

Cons - That being said, the story itself is the weakest aspect. It’s not quite origin movie syndrome, but there are few points in the story that really surprise you. There’s also a few attempts to replicate key scenes from the animated film, and while they look cool, there are two key ones that admittedly don’t quite work into the story as well as they did in the animated film.

Final Score - 8/10

I was leaning towards a seven, but I will admit I’m a sucker for good looking visual landscapes, and this has it in spades. The animated film got a sequel, so I wouldn’t mind seeing what they would do with a second live action one.

Next: Chips - Yeah, I have some catch up to play before I start tackling the limited releases.

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Want to read more? Click Below for my last review. Hint: I did a double last time as well. You can read that here.

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Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Double Movie Review: Table 19 (2017) & Wilson (2017)

Hello All,

    I write to you now, having spent the day recovering from my livestream of fifty shades (Which coincidentally you can watch here in it’s entirety if you missed it live, do it, click it now, MY GOD WHY HAVEN’T YOU WATCHED IT YET?!) and let’s just say well, I’m not sure how long it’ll be before I fully recover from it. So to try and lighten my mood, I went and watched some movies. How were they? Let’s find out together shall we?

Table 19 Review

Plot Summary - Eloise McGarry (Anna Kendrick) has been invited to her oldest friend's wedding, however she finds herself seated at the table intended for guests who weren’t really supposed to show up.

Pros - The cast is pretty well rounded and interesting. The story is also admittedly very sweet at heart, and it does a very good job at it.

Cons - The main plot, and various subplots kind of meander a bit. For a comedy, it’s also not a super funny film. Maybe like a few times I laughed, but the rest of the humour kind of relies on the awkwardness of the various situations for humour.

Final Score - 4/10

Maybe if you’re looking for light hearted awkwardness, otherwise I’d say pass.

Wilson Review

Plot Summary - Wilson (Woody Harrelson) is a lonely, neurotic, and uncomfortably honest middle aged man, who decides to reunite with his estranged wife, and try to find their daughter that she put up for adoption.

Pros - Harrelson is indeed the standalone best thing about this film, because he just sells the character with such moxy, that it’s hard not to find it impressive. It also does manage to slip in a funny line here and there also.

Cons - The film has no real plot to speak of. It’s based on a series of single page gag comic strips, and I feel that that’s how the script was pretty much written, which really doesn’t translate well. We also don’t get too much characterization of the supporting cast beyond one note archetypes, who aren’t super interesting. Harrelson is basically forced to carry the whole film on his shoulders, which can be pretty hard to watch at times despite how good he is.

Final Score - 2/10

It’s not the worst film, but it’s just a film that has nothing really to do and it shows. I say unless you’re a fan of Harrelson, or the comic it’s based on, don’t bother with this one.

Next: Ghost in the Shell (2017) - Will it live up to the original? That’s the question.

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Want to read more? Click Below for my last review. Hint: Remember that livestream I mentioned? I did a written review for it as well. You can read that below.

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Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Movie Review Special: Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)

Hello All,

    I’m writing this some time after the livestream has ended. If you have missed it, I have good news, there is a playlist you can watch by clicking this link here. There will also be a full version, which at the time of writing this, is being uploaded, but if you subscribe to our youtube channel here. I’m also considering a soundcloud for only audio listeners, but we’ll put a pin in that for now.

    So since I have seen the first one, you’re probably all thinking, what about the second one? Well, I will watch it, but first, certain conditions must be met.

So what do I require? Let me show you.

Fifty Shades Darker Livestream and Follow up written review - 90 page likes total, and at least 10 shares of three different reviews following this one (Not including my own).

That’ll give me enough time to recover, and for you guys to rally more people to watch me suffer.

Now, onto the review.

Plot Summary - Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) meets Billionaire Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan), and the pair begin to hit it off. However, when Christian introduces her to his BDSM lifestyle, she finds herself torn between the man, and the way he loves her.

Pros - The best thing I can say about the film, is that less than half a dozen times, it had just the perfect timing when it came to what I can best describe as complete, and utter, unironic, self awareness. Ana has these great moments of some sign of a personality, and when you get those brief glimpses, they’re actually pretty funny.

Cons - This film is fucking awful besides that. Maybe it’s simply the fact that the film feels like it wasn’t made by real people of planet earth, but honestly from the moment it started, I just did not like it. This movie is just pure audio visual rape, and I honestly feel sick as a dog from watching it. This movie is evil, and needs to be burned alive.

Final Score - 0/10

This is now the worst film I’ve ever watched for this blog. I’m not joking. I honestly think i’d feel less sick watching a serbian film at this point. If you haven’t already, stay the fuck far away from it.

Next: Table 19 & Wilson - That’s right folks, I’m doing a double feature. I totally won’t regret this tomorrow.

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Want to read more? Click Below for my last review. Hint: It was a suggestion box review that looks so much better now after this.

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Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Suggestion Box Review: Dead and Breakfast (2004)

Hello All,

Before we begin today, if you haven’t read already, on Tuesday, March 28th 2017, sometime between 830 and 900pm, I will be livestreaming my watching of the film some considered to be the worst film of 2015, Fifty Shades of Grey. You can watch that on my twitch channel here: https://www.twitch.tv/reservoir222. It will hopefully be a laugh filled evening for all you lovely people, while I will be sitting there trying not to slit my wrists…..I mean….I have all the confidence in the world. And now, the review!   

So what would you say if I told you that before there was the walking dead, there was a movie were Jeffrey Dean Morgan killed a bunch of zombies, that also had David Carradine, Portia De Rossi, and Diedrich Bader in it as well? For that, I take you back to 2004 for the horror/musical/comedy Dead and Breakfast. I think maybe the strangest film so far I’ve reviewed from the suggestion box, what is there to tell you about this obscure film? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - When six friends get lost in the small town of Lovelock, Texas, they spend the night at the local Bed and Breakfast. During the night however, after the chef and owner are found dead, they begin to get wrapped in something far more supernatural.

Pros - Sadly there’s really not a lot to like about the film that doesn’t raise more than a mild shrug. The special effects were maybe the stand out, that’s about it.

Cons - The film overall is honestly just a hollow shell of all the films it’s clearly trying to emulate. Everything from Evil Dead to Sin City and it just end up creating a damn mess. At 87 minutes it’s padded, the characters are unlikable, the plot is thin, and moves slowly, and truth be told it does not hold up at all.

Final Score - 1/10

I’m sorry, but this film is such a hard pass. I can only recommend it to the most extreme genre nerds, and that’s about it.

Next Suggestion Box Review: Girls Und Panzer Der Film - Okay this might not be the weirdest film I’ve watched for much longer.

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Want to read more? Click Below for my last review. Hint: Last time, I went and got a Life. (I’m sorry for that joke.)

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Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Movie Review: Life (2017)

Hello All,

    I’m racking my brain trying to remember the last one of these close space monster movies we’ve had. I’m guessing you can count 10 cloverfield lane, but that’s not the point. It’s hard to not compare these kind of films to Alien, which is why they probably don’t make these kind of films very often. So how was this latest attempt of the genre? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - When a Six Member crew of the ISS capture a space probe returning from mars, they discover proof of life amongst the soil samples. When it turns hostile and starts attacking the crew however, they must figure out how to eliminate the threat before it heads to earth.

Pros - The cast is solid enough, and the creature is rather interesting looking. The tension works pretty well, and the story moves along at a good pace.

Cons - If you’ve seen Alien, or any film like it, you’ve seen this movie. It’s predictable to death, and I even called the ending before it it happened. The characters don’t get much development, hell I can barely tell you any of their names. It’s just kind of been there done that.

Final Score - 5/10

It’s your average sci fi movie. That’s pretty much it. I honestly don’t know what else to say to that.

Next: Suggestion Box Review - Hoping to get this one done on Sunday.

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Want to read more? Click Below for my last review. Hint: I reviewed something completely different.

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Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Movie Review: Power Rangers (2017)

Hello All,

    So you might noticed that we have slightly tweaked things around here. Hopefully you guys like the changes, and be sure to check out the new link buttons down below.

Now I will start this off by saying that I was actually a pretty big fan of the mighty morphin series growing up. Hell my sister and I both were, to the point that we had power ranger everything. Personally I was a big fan of the blue ranger, and watched the show basically religiously. I will admit, as an adult, it’s hard to look back on the show now knowing what happened to the actor who played while he was on set, so admittedly, I don’t really have rose coloured glasses for the series anymore. Sure, the nostalgia factor is still there, and it’s still dumb fun to watch, but I was actually quite keen on a clean reboot when I heard there was one coming.

Now I know that some reboots lately have been awful, but some have been actually rather solid. Yes, they changed a lot of it from the original show, but isn’t that the point of a reboot? So where does this one fall in place? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - Five Teenagers from the small town of Angel Grove are brought together to form the next team of warriors known as The Power Rangers. When they are threatened by a great evil, they must band together to save the world.

Pros - So the big thing people probably want to know is how the cast is, and I’m glad to say they are pretty good. The changes are nice, and each character do get both their own moments, and great moments as a team. I know a lot of people don’t like them, but I really do like the design of everything, especially the morph suits and the zords. The best upgrade though is to Rita and Goldar, as Rita comes across more as a creepy witch in this one. The story has some great scenes, and the team chemistry is actually spot on from the actors as well. At some points it does try to capture the fun of the original show with some success as well. The rest of the cast is great, especially Bryan Cranston as Zordon.

Cons - The movie suffers from a classic case of Origin Story Syndrome. The plot is predictable, and the key moments can be seen from space. It also does suffer from tonal problems, not quite being super goofy, while also not quite being gritty and serious. You can also tell that the editing might have been slightly more haphazard than intended. There’s also huge Krispy Kreme Donut product placement near the end, so just be weary.

Final Score - 7/10

It’s a soft seven, and admittedly it is a flawed film. If you’re a fan, I’d say enter with caution, same for casual moviegoers. I would love to see a sequel that irons these problems out, so who knows?

Next: Life - We’re aiming for tomorrow, or in my case at the time of writing this, later today.

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Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Suggestion Box Review: Band of Brothers and My thoughts on TV + MMWI Campaign Update!

Hello All

    So I will address the campaign results shortly, however first let’s get to the review.

This one is a bit different than usual, as when I first started this blog I never really thought I’d have to do a television show. However it has been requested of me, and since it really doesn’t fit my usual scale, I’m improvising a different way to do this, so let’s just do it shall we?

Series Summary - Dramatizing the history of “Easy” Company (part of the 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 101st Airborne Division), starting from training in the states until the end of world war II.

Okay, so truthfully, I didn’t actually rewatch the series recently for this review, however I did watch it when it first came out, as my dad was a big fan of it.

From what I can remember, it’s a perfectly alright show, if you like world war two dramas. It is a mini series so just be aware of that, and it does switch main character perspective for every episode so just look out for that as well.

Overall, I definitely recommend it if you’re a fan of the genre.

Okay, yeah it was pretty short, but truthfully I didn’t have the time to watch a whole series, and I didn’t want to delay the other reviews for that long, so here’s what I propose for the future.

If you do want me to review a TV Show, I either suggest putting in a certain number of episodes to watch for it, or simply just the first episode.

For half hour shows, my limit is one - five, as long as they’re part of the same story arc.

For hour long shows, my limit is one - three, same rule as above.

If you just want me to watch the first episode, I’ll do that too.

Just suggest them in the regular suggestion box, and I’ll get to them as fast as I can, keep in mind tv shows will take me longer.

Alright, so, the results you’ve all been waiting for.

At the time of writing this, the page has……

63 Likes

65 Follows

And do you know what, that’s not bad for three days. I blame myself for not making those numbers, three days is not enough time, so right now, I’m introducing these new goals.

• Fifty Shades of Grey Live Reaction Stream and Follow Up Review: 75 Page Likes: By ?
• Fifty Shades Darker: 100 Page Likes: By ?
• Reader’s Choice: 150 Page Likes: By ?

You might have noticed I didn’t put expiration dates on these. That’s because I honestly have not decided yet. Those will be decided tomorrow and posted asap, and once again I will remind you that you must like the facebook page itself for your vote to count.

Next Suggestion Box Review: Dead and Breakfast - Yeah, I haven’t heard of it either. Sounds like fun though.

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Want to read more? Click above for my last review. Hint: We checked out some pretty weird movies last time. You can read that here.

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Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Double Movie Review: Weirdos (2017) and Beauty and the Beast (2017)

Hello All,

    Before I begin today, I’d like to ask you all with a few dollars to spare to please donate to my friend and colleague’s Fundraiser for the Heart and Stroke Foundation. You can donate by clicking through the link here.

Boy am I just glad that the week is over. Sorry about the shortness of the last review, but if you had seen the week I had you’d understand why. Hell, it’s the week of probably one of the most anticipated films of the year (which I admittedly saw a few days later than planned). But before we get to that one today, it’s time to delve back into the world of Canadian Indie films. So let’s get started shall we?

Weirdos Review

Plot Summary - Set in Nova Scotia in 1976, the film follows Kit (Allan Hawco), as he and his friend Alice (Julia Sarah Stone), set off on a hitchhiking trip to visit Kit’s mother in nearby Sydney.

Pros - As road trip movies go, it’s actually probably one of the better ones I’ve seen. The story flows along at a nice pace, and the story feels pretty grounded in reality as well which helps. The cast is great, and the characters are pretty well rounded and relatable. The supporting cast and characters are nice and diverse, allowing for the story to keep moving forward in an interesting manner.

Cons - At 84 minutes, it still has some padding in terms of at least three music montages. There’s also a few too many quick cuts between characters for my liking.

Final Score - 8/10

It’s a nice little period piece, and a definite watch for fans of road trip movies.

Beauty and the Beast

Plot Summary - in mid 1700’s france, Belle (Emma Watson) is a social outcast in her village, where she lives with her father, and eludes the romantic attempts of Gaston (Luke Evans), the village hero. When her father is captured in the strange castle of The Beast (Dan Stevens), she offers to take his place, while unknowingly falling into the plan of the cursed housestaff who set out to return themselves to normal.

Pros - The visuals are pretty nice, especially once they get into the castle. The cast is great as well, my favourite having to be Josh Gad as Le Fou. This one also has so improvements in certain elements of the story over the original animated film.

Cons - My biggest complaint is, and I will admit it may have been the theatre I was in, was that the songs seem like half the time you can’t hear what they’re singing for half the songs. I will also be the first one to admit that, as a whole, I really don’t like most of the classic disney princess films. They all feel roughly the same to me, and even though the newer films are getting further away from that traditional formula, there’s just something about them that to me, serves more as an artifact of the era’s they were made in, rather than stories that hold up over time. The story is still predictable, and yeah the cast is charming, but everything still happens in the same way it always have and that honestly just drives me crazy.

Final Score - 5/10

I’m not ranking this any higher or lower, simply because I just honestly don’t really care about these films. If you think you’re going to like it, you probably will, if you think you won’t you won’t. It’s honestly that simple.

Next: We have a suggestion box special coming up next.

That will be tomorrow, along with the results so far of the new Make Me Watch It Campaign. If you don’t know anything about that, I suggest you look in the links below.

Links:

Want to read more? Click above for my last review. Hint: We celebrated our new facebook page by launching our new campaign.

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Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.