Movie Review: Kung Fu Panda 3 (2016)

Hello All,

Unfortunately I’m once again quite tired after a long day but I will try my best to give you the best review I can. Having missed the other January animated movie, I figured I’d catch up with this week’s newest release. I was going to do this yesterday, but I basically got snowed out. So how does the end of the Kung Fu Panda trilogy hold up? Let’s find out shall we?

Plot Summary - When an ancient warrior and former friend of Oogway attacks him in the spirit realm and steals his chi, he returns to the normal world bent on destroying his legacy, leaving only Po who's now been tasked with becoming a teacher, while also dealing with the return of his birth father.

Pros - The animation in the film is the best it’s ever been. It has these really cool and colorful scenes that the 3D really brings to life. It also adds some really cool story elements to the mythos of the world, as it manages to tie the three films together almost seamlessly. The cast is really solid too, although some people get less screen time than others, we do see a few scenes more withe five and some of the lesser seen ones getting some moments as well. Even Po seeing the panda village is cool because it does give you a really nice sense of what the panda culture is like. It paces really well too, at 95 minutes it doesn’t overstay it’s welcome and it still manages to deliver some really cool scenes in that time.

Cons - If I have any complaints, it’s maybe that it has a few cliched moments, but honestly even seeing them coming I still enjoyed everything leading up to it.

Final Score - 10/10

Honestly, and maybe it was the day I had, but I did really enjoy this movie. To me, it has just right balance to make this a perfectly entertaining film for both kids and adults and it’s definitely the best January film out now.

I’ll probably see Fifty Shades of Black, but I have to be in the right mindset of it considering I skipped and will forever skip Fifty Shades of Grey, and from what I hear it’s a shot for shot spoof so…...yay……

Until then, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Movie Review: The Finest Hours (2016)

Hello All,

It’s very late right now as I’m writing, so I’m going to skip the intro and get right into it. I’m reviewing the finest hours, Is it any good? Let’s find out.

Plot Summary - The film follows the real life 1952 rescue of the crewmen stranded on the SS Pendleton by a coast guard crew of only four men during one of the worst storms of the year.

Pros - The cast was really solid, the visuals were mind blowing, the story in tense and the pacing is good for the most part.

Cons - The main characters girlfriends story (say that six times fast) is basically padding, a couple of interesting side characters get basically dropped for most of the movie, and it has a few cliche moments. But it’s biggest sin by far is that it’s needlessly in 3D. I normally don’t make a point of the 3D, but in this case I know some people will probably not see it because of that and to me that’s a mark against it.

Final Score - 7/10

I can’t deny that by the end of it I was smiling, but with a bit of trimming and dropping the 3D entirely this would’ve been an 8 or a 9.

Sorry this was short, but I’m exhausted. It’ll probably be Kung Fu Panda 3 next, then fifty shades of black when I’m at my most self hating.

Until then, I’ll see you folks at the movies.    

(Spoiler Free) Movie Review: Lazer Team (2016)

Hello All,

So this review is a bit unusual for me. See, a while back I helped fund Rooster Teeth’s indiegogo campaign for them to make their first movie, the above mentioned Lazer Team. Since I am a backer I got access to an early digital screening of the film before its official premiere tomorrow. I’ve basically told I cannot spoil the movie in any way shape or form so I will try my best not to do that, so for the sake of this review, I will do a basic summary, basic pros and cons, and the final score. So, did I pick the right movie to back? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - When the earth intercepts a signal warning of both great danger, and a gift it shall receive, they begin to train a champion of earth to take on the threat. However, when the gift of a suit of battle armor arrives, four idiots stumble across, and when they learn that they cannot simply walk away, they must come together as a team for the sake of mankind.

Pros - The cast is on point in terms of both their dramatic ability and comedic timing, as it also does help a bit being a fan of rooster teeth myself. The banter between the main four flows well, and the supporting cast does well to round out the group. Alan Ritchson as Adam the intended champion gets special mention here. As a comedy about 95% of the jokes work, the story moves along well for the most part, and it actually throws in a few surprises along the way. I will say for an entirely crowd based movie the effects and the look of the whole film are actually quite good. For non Rooster Teeth fans I can imagine that they would enjoy it, even if they might miss some of the little easter eggs hidden throughout the film.

Cons - Like I said a few of the jokes don’t work, rather they be a bit obvious or just not funny. It does take a little long in the beginning and then a few scenes after kind of feel rushed. There’s also one or two slightly obvious green screen moments.

Final Score - 9/10

Despite some minor hiccups that could be just first time movie making jitters, overall I say Lazer Team is actually pretty solid, and I’m glad I backed it. If you can see it near you I say do it, or wait until they start selling it on dvd or make it available to watch online.

I’ll probably do the finest hours on Thursday, then Kung Fu Panda 3 after that. Figure out which one I’m excited for more.

Until then, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Movie Review: 13 Hours Secret Soldiers of Benghazi (2016)

Hello All,

    You know, in a post 5th wave world, I can’t help but realize how much more I’ve been enjoying everything else lately simply because It’s not the 5th fucking wave. That early contender for the worst movie of the year drains me every time I even mention it, yet I can honestly thank it for basically just allowing me to just try and find the value in everything else I see after the fact for the next little while. That being said, let’s review a Michael Bay movie shall we?

Plot Summary - Based on the real life attacks in Benghazi, the story follows six CIA contractors as they fend off attacks on both the american embassy and their CIA base over a one night span.

Pros - The best thing about this movie by far is the action. It’s actually some of Bay’s best work as he seems more focused with the way everything plays out. As a war movie it’s pretty easy to follow everything going on and you do have some great action and chase scenes. Everything else for the most part is basically on point here, as the acting is good, the story is good, the pacing is good, and even the character development.

Cons - The movie suffers from a lot of padding. There are so many scenes that could’ve been easily cut and that would have made this more focused than it already is. There’s also too many characters, as while it does mostly focus on the main six guys, there are way too many side characters to the point where you  just lose track of almost everybody and where they are.

Final Score - 8/10

With a bit of editing and some tighter focus it could’ve been a 9 or even a 10 at a stretch. It’s probably the best Michael Bay film I’ve seen in awhile, and I really hope he improves on what made this film good and brings it to the next Transformers movie.

Kung Fu Panda 3 opens next week, there might be a review on Tuesday or Wednesday in the meantime.

Until then, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Movie Review: The Boy (2016)

Hello all,

With quite a few options ahead of me this week in terms of movies to watch, I found myself at a bit of a loss at what to watch first. We got the 5th wave done and over with (thank christ), so the question is what was next? Well, since I worked today, I literally saw the first new movie that was playing right after, and that turned out to be The Boy. So with one January horror film under my belt, how was the second going to hold up? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - Greta (Lauren Cohan) is an american woman who has accepted a job in England as a nanny to the Heelshire family and their son Brahms. When she arrives however, she finds Brahms is a porcelain doll that the family believes is alive. Skeptical at first, when she’s left alone to care for him, she starts to believe that the doll may truly be alive.

Pros - At 1h 38m there is a very clear sense of timing and pacing that never really feels rushed, as you can clearly tell when the three acts begin and end. The second act is where the film really starts to pick up, as the characters back story and the situation unfolding in front of her actually does lead her to believe that the doll is alive, and it’s really bizarre to watch in kind of a fascinating way. Third act does get off to a bit of a shaky start, and without spoiling it, basically a new character is introduced and given kind of a brief amount of development time right before kicking into the end of the film. I will say though, the third act twist I admittedly didn’t see coming, but it was actually pretty awesome and basically turned the whole movie around for me. They also sequel bait in a way which I actually thought was kind of neatly ominous and actually left me wanting to see what they want to do with a potential sequel.

Cons - That being said, the twist does actually bring up a huge amount of questions, some good, some bad, and also one kind of big hanging problem over the whole story. Again without spoiling it, it sort of makes you look back over the film, and while there are some really kind of cool and creepy questions left to ask, there’s again the few questions that make you question the logic the logic of the film and admittedly kind of bring down the whole thing quite a bit. It also doesn’t help that it’s a PG rated horror film. The first third will leave you bored as there only really one kind of creepy unexpected moment, at least for me anyways. I really wish they would’ve tried for a 14A rating (Pg - 13 for the states), as it would’ve allowed them more of an opportunity to maybe play with that twist ending a little more.

Final Score - 6/10

But, In a first for this blog, I will be issuing it the brand new…..

Lower Score Seal of Approval!

Look, it’s a flawed film yes, but this is one of those rare cases in where to me the flaws, while still there, sort of end up contributing in a way to the overall feel of the film. This will probably end up being this year’s Hitman: Agent 47 for me, and I’m actually okay with that. I can honestly recommend this film based solely on how this film kind of weirdly works. I will say, that the seal of approval does NOT grant it immunity from the year end disappointing list. If I see more disappointing films than this, it might be not be on there, but we’ll find out at the end of the year.

Tomorrow will most likely be Thirteen Hours. The movie not how long the day is going to be, hopefully.

Until then, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Movie Review: The Fifth Wave (2016)

Hello all,

You know I skipped last week because all we got at my theatre was one movie that got universally panned, one I had already seen, and one I don’t even remember what it is thinking about it right now. So when I saw that we were getting four new movies tomorrow with two advanced screenings tonight my hope brightened a little bit. Then I saw one of them………..holy shit. I sit here now, a defeated man, having to tell you why this movie is just fucking awful. So yeah, let’s get this over with shall we?

Plot Summary - When aliens invade the earth and decimate it in a series of waved attacks, a young girl named Cassie (Chloe Grace - Moretz) tries to reunite with her brother with the help of a mysterious young man.

Pros - I honestly thought the first scene in the movie was funny, but that might have only been because of some of the trailers that played before the movie made me want to gouge my eyes out. Oh and a douchebag got hit in the throat.

Cons - Not too sound repetitive but basically everything else about this fucking movie. It’s biggest glaring problem is just how painfully fucking generic it is. I predicted the two biggest plot points in the movie well before they happened, and I knew four lines almost verbatim before they were even said in the film, once getting the exact phrasing right. I’d never actually done that before until today.

    The first third, is just exposition, the main character of the subplot gets all of two minutes of screen time and then all of a sudden he’s back and we care about because of yet even more exposition to explain where he was for the last forty five fucking minutes. Thanks for making me care about him by literally telling me I should care about him stupid fucking movie.

    There’s not a single fucking original thought in this film’s whole fucking body. It could’ve been called young adult novel the movie. You could’ve named the main character Bella Everdeen and I wouldn’t have batted an eye. Hell, this could’ve been mannequins with voiceovers and I wouldn’t have fucking said a goddamn thing about it.

    Bottom line, it’s cliche, boring, and so painfully generic I think I’d rather get stabbed than watch it again because I would’ve enjoyed it more.

Final Score - 1/10

The douchebag getting hit in the throat was funny. I legitimately chuckled, it was as if I got to see a cliche get punched and it was awesome.

I might go bleach my brain of this now. I don’t know what will be next, maybe thirteen hours.

Until then, stay far away from this movie.

Happy New Year! Double Movie Review: The Revenant (2016) and The Forest (2016)

Hello all,

Well, my break is basically now over. I now start 2016 with the traditional slog of what will most likely be completely crappy January releases that normally wouldn’t see release any other time of the year. That being said the first week or two can have some hold overs from last year that did not get a proper release as well. Long story short it’s basically a crap shoot, I’ve blabbed on long enough let’s get to the reviews shall we?

The Revenant Review

Plot Summary - In 1823, a group of pelters under military command are preparing animal pelts for transport when they come under attack by the local native american tribe. After losing most of their men, the remainder flee with Hugh Glass (Leonardo Dicaprio) as their wilderness guide. With the group are his son, and a man named Fitzgerald (Tom Hardy) a scalping survivor who openly resents Glass and his half native son. After Glass is grievously injured, Fitzgerald tired to finish him off, but kills his son and leaves him for dead. Now, badly wounded and alone in the wild, Glass forces himself forward to seek revenge.

Pros - My main compliment towards the film is just how stunningly gorgeous every single shot of it is. There’s not a single moment of this film that doesn’t look amazing. The acting is phenomenal, Tom Hardy is barely recognizable, even the supporting cast brings in their A game as well. The action scenes as tense and fast paced without being too overwhelming, the manage to balance out the bleak moments for the most part, not really with humour but with mostly beautiful imagery.

Cons - Now this might seem weird, but hear me out. Revenant is 2h 37m long, eleven minutes longer than Hateful Eight. Yet were Hateful Eight didn’t feel like it was that long, The Revenant did in spades. It was during this when I realized that there are a lot of minor hiccups throughout the movie. There’s quite a few arthouse style scenes that feel like padding, you start to lose any sense of how much time has passed for these characters, there’s quite a few quiet moments that stay quiet just too long. I should also mention that I ended up leaving the movie with a massive headache, but I still can’t quite figure out why.

Final Score - 9/10

This is a beautiful film, but I cannot deny it’s flawed just enough to miss the full score. It’s definitely a must see though.

The Forest Review

Plot Summary - Sara Price (Natalie Dormer) is an average woman who is revealed to have received a series of phone calls from Japan regarding the disappearance of her twin sister Jess (Also Natalie Dormer). When she heads over to the forest Jess was last seen in, she hires a local guide Aiden (Taylor Kinney) to lead her into the haunted forest.

Pros - The film is based around the Aokigahara Forest at the base of Mount. Fuji in Japan, a well known spot for people to go and commit suicide, which in itself just breeds potential for a good horror movie. To the film’s credit there are a few kind of creepy scenes in the film.

Cons - Oh, just about everything else. My biggest nitpick is that Aiden is supposed to be Australian and yet he doesn’t have a fucking Australian accent. Natalie Dormer is on autopilot in both sister roles, and everyone else looks bored. The scares are lackluster, while being scattered too thin and lacking any real build up. Overall the whole film feels like a bad American remake of a Japanese horror film that never existed. It does try really hard to be like a Japanese horror film, except it doesn’t know how to do that and gets reduced to the usual jump scare garbage we’ve sadly come to expect. Oh, and every character in this movie is dumber than a bag of hammer’s.

Final Score - (1/10)

Overall, it’ just boring and a waste of time. There’s a film that was made last year called Sea of Trees that I don’t know if it’s been released or not, but Matthew McConaughey is in it and from what little I’ve seen it looks a million times better. Look for that when it comes out.

The first of many film reviews for this year, I’m actually looking forward to a lot of these, and I hope you all join me on another year of reviewing. Even though I don’t know what film I’m doing next yet.

Until then, I’ll see you folks at the movies.