Movie Review: When The Bough Breaks (2016)

Newest Review is LIVE!!! Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m apologizing for this one now.

Hello All,

    Oh boy, this is a doozy. This movie has a 0% on rotten tomatoes. Do you know how hard it is for a movie on rotten tomatoes to even stay at 0%? So when I went to go see it, I was honestly expecting something truly amazingly bad, I was hoping for just pure entertainment. People, what I got, made me do something that I have not done in quite some time.

I left the theatre before the movie was over.

35 minutes into this……...fucking movie…….I had to leave. It was the third and final time that I had left the theatre in 35 minutes, and I got my refund, and did not go back in.

Fuck this movie.

Cons:

1. Everyone in the movie was clearly bored being there, so none of them express any proper emotions.
2. Except for the fiancee of the surrogate who was taking the piss and just hamming it up.
3. There’s a scene where it shows you the surrogate being injected with the embryo, and you actually watch the screen as it goes in and WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO SEE THAT?
4. The dialogue is a joke. It’s either all exposition, or terrible lines read terribly, and it just feels hollow.
5. The pacing is non existent, as it just cuts around with no rhyme or reason, with no sense of time or story progression
6. Nobody acts logically in this movie.
7. The surrogate is 21, but she acts like, and gets treated like a 16 year old.
8. The exact line, during the final scene I watched, that made me leave, was during the scene where she gets the husband to feel the baby inside, during which she says “You can already feel my TUMMY starting to change.” Tummy is a word a child uses, f*ck this movie.

Folks, I only did what I’m about to do review wise once before for Neighbours. This film is officially DISQUALIFIED from review, because in order for me to able to give it a proper rating, I’d have to finish watching it, and I’d rather pour gasoline in my eyes.

Oh, and if anyone writes this in the suggestion box like they did Neighbours 2, I’m going to skip it because f*ck you.

Next: The Wildlife, and holy shit am I actually looking forward to it now after seeing this trainwreck.

Skip this movie, I’m dead serious, It’s not worth your time or effort.

Links:

Last Review is Here: This one I was able to watch all the way through. Find out what that movie is here!!!

Twitter Account is Here: You’ll get notices when the reviews are live as soon as I post them, plus any trailers, movie news, or updates on when I stream on Twitch. I’m always looking for new followers, and with more followers means more ways for you guys to contribute.

NEW!!! Suggestion Box is Here: Are you sick of gaps in my posts? Why not suggest a film or film series for me to watch? Suggestions will be completed in order received, and if you’d like to leave your name for a suggestion credit and anything you’d like me to promote (within reason) I’d be happy to do that too. This suggestion box will be a permanent fixture of the blog, as again I’d love any and all help you guys want to offer.

Twitch Channel is Here: I’ll admit, I don’t quite have a regular streaming schedule worked out, but if you follow either the Twitter account or the channel directly you will be notified whenever I go live.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at (hopefully) better movies.

Movie Review: Sully (2016)

Newest Review is LIVE!!! I really can’t think of something witty for this one.

Hello All,

    Sorry for lateness on this one. It’s a mixture of a weird day, and I also got held up on twitter with a bit of a rant. Anyways, back on topic, do you remember that the miracle on the hudson happened in 2009? Yeah, neither did I. I also honestly thought that the Denzel Washington movie Flight was inspired by it. Truthfully for me, this was a blip for me on the cultural landscape. So the fact that they were going to make a movie about it, to me at least, brought up a lot of curiosity in the sense of what they were going to do with it. So what did we get? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - On January 15 2009, United Airways Flight 1549 crash landed in the Hudson river in New York. The film follows captain Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger (Tom Hanks) and the subsequent investigation into what happened on that fateful day.

Pros - The cast is great, and the story is both well told and well paced. It’s a good looking film, and it does a lot to focus the story more on everyone involved in the accident and the following investigations.

Cons - This is really hard to word properly, but the thing, for me at least, this is really the type of film that is really worth seeing only once. With a film like this, one of the things to think about is the longevity of its popularity, and while there will be people who might really like this film (to which I say good on you, glad you like it) for me I can’t really picture myself going out of my way to see it again anytime soon.

Final Score - 7/10

It’s certainly a film worth watching, but more than once I leave it up to you.

Next: I will mostly likely catch up on Light Between Oceans, because the rest of the films this week do not look stellar…….

Links:

Last Review is Here: The last review was for a very disappointing movie. You can read that here.

Twitter Account is Here: You’ll get notices when the reviews are live as soon as I post them, plus any trailers, movie news, or updates on when I stream on Twitch. I’m always looking for new followers, and with more followers means more ways for you guys to contribute.

NEW!!! Suggestion Box is Here: Are you sick of gaps in my posts? Why not suggest a film or film series for me to watch? Suggestions will be completed in order received, and if you’d like to leave your name for a suggestion credit and anything you’d like me to promote (within reason) I’d be happy to do that too. This suggestion box will be a permanent fixture of the blog, as again I’d love any and all help you guys want to offer.

Twitch Channel is Here: I’ll admit, I don’t quite have a regular streaming schedule worked out, but if you follow either the Twitter account or the channel directly you will be notified whenever I go live.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Movie Review: Morgan (2016)

Newest Review is LIVE!!!!!! Oh boy what do I say about this one?

Hello All,

    So, I apologize for the lack of Thursday night reviews, but there were no Thursday night showings at my regular theatre. I ended up taking Friday as a personal day so all I did was stream (Link down below hint hint hint.) So I ended up seeing Morgan this morning at the time of writing this, so the question is was the wait worth it? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - Lee Weathers (Kate Mara) is a risk assessment manager sent into a lab to investigate an incident involving a mysterious creature by the name of Morgan (Anya Taylor-Joy), and to determine whether or not the program must come to an end.

Pros - The director of the film is Luke Scott, son of Ridley Scott, and for his first directed film he does do a pretty good job with the material given to him. The pacing is good, the cinematography is great, and it’s a really well made film.

Cons - The story itself is not great, as I was able to figure out the twists after almost half way through. The problem is is that the characters are all one dimensional, the dialogue is awful, and the actual plot itself doesn’t really do anything interesting with the concept.

Final Score - 3/10

If you’re looking for a technically sound film and not much else, then this is the movie for you.

Next: The Light Between Oceans - I was going to do this sooner than later, but……

I've had an idea recently, and it involves the first suggestion in the Suggestion Box (link down below hint hint hint) which is the fourth transformers movie. Now for anyone who follows me on twitter (link down below you get the idea) you may have recently seen that I live tweeted when I watched the 1959 version of Ben Hur. After getting some decent feedback for it, I’ve decided to elevate this idea to the next level with my suggestion box submissions. What does that entail? Well, when I get the kinks worked out, I’ll post the results with the review of the movie and you can see for yourselves.

Links:

Last Review is Here: The last movie I watched was actually really good. You can read that here.

Twitter Account is Here: You’ll get notices when the reviews are live as soon as I post them, plus any trailers, movie news, or updates on when I stream on Twitch. I’m always looking for new followers, and with more followers means more ways for you guys to contribute.

NEW!!! Suggestion Box is Here: Are you sick of gaps in my posts? Why not suggest a film or film series for me to watch? Suggestions will be completed in order received, and if you’d like to leave your name for a suggestion credit and anything you’d like me to promote (within reason) I’d be happy to do that too. This suggestion box will be a permanent fixture of the blog, as again I’d love any and all help you guys want to offer.

Twitch Channel is Here: I’ll admit, I don’t quite have a regular streaming schedule worked out, but if you follow either the Twitter account or the channel directly you will be notified whenever I go live.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Movie Review: Don't Breathe (2016)

Newest Review is LIVE!!! Let’s all hold our breaths as we venture into horror once again

Hello All,

    Sorry this took me so long. It’s been a very strange weekend for me, and not in the awesome adventure type way. More in the, it was long, slow, and boring, and for the love of god kill me please. So what better way to spend a horrible weekend, then to watch a horror movie. Now most modern horror movies, if this blog is any indication, are completely terrible. This one is different than most, as it’s possibly one of the most grounded in realism that we’ve seen in awhile. So how does that make for a horror movie? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - Rocky (Jane Levy), Alex (Dylan Minnette), and Money (Daniel Zovatto) are three kids from Detroit, who are breaking into houses to try and get enough money to leave the city. When they get a tip about a blind man (Stephen Lang) who recently received a huge cash settlement, they decide to break in and steal it for themselves. However, when the man hears them, he reveals that he is more capable than they were lead to believe.

Pros - The movie is thrilling as hell, and the cast does a tremendous job in the premise. The movie is also really well shot and paced, especially within the tight confines of the house. The story is well told, and the twist in the third act is goddamn creepy as hell. It makes the whole film just intense as hell as you’re watching the whole thing playing out in front of you.

Cons - If you’re looking for a jumping out of your seat type horror movie, this isn’t really for you.

Final Score - 10/10

Truthfully, it’s nice to see a horror/thriller type film that try to move away from the mystical, and into more grounded and real type scenarios. Definitely a must see.

Next: ????? - Yeah, so for the first time in forever, there are no Thursday night showings this week. So, I’m honestly going to try and get the Suggestion Box reviews started.

Links:

Last Review is Here: The last review was for a really terrible movie, find out which one here.

Twitter Account is Here: You’ll get notices when the reviews are live as soon as I post them, plus any trailers, movie news, or updates on when I stream on Twitch. I’m always looking for new followers, and with more followers means more ways for you guys to contribute.

NEW!!! Suggestion Box is Here: Are you sick of gaps in my posts? Why not suggest a film or film series for me to watch? Suggestions will be completed in order received, and if you’d like to leave your name for a suggestion credit and anything you’d like me to promote (within reason) I’d be happy to do that too. This suggestion box will be a permanent fixture of the blog, as again I’d love any and all help you guys want to offer.

Twitch Channel is Here: I’ll admit, I don’t quite have a regular streaming schedule worked out, but if you follow either the Twitter account or the channel directly you will be notified whenever I go live.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Movie Review: Mechanic Ressurection (2016)

Newest Review is LIVE!!! Here’s a sequel no one was really expecting.

Hello All,

    So this is unexpected. How many people even remember 2010’s Mechanic? You know how you can tell you can’t remember? It actually came out in 2011. I never thought it was terrible, but I remember seeing it once and that’s it. So you can really tell that this is basically going to be bad, because it’s a sequel no one asked for, to a film no one remembers. I still had to find out though, so let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - After going into retirement, Arthur Bishop (Jason Statham) is forcefully recruited by an old enemy to perform three impossible assassinations, in order to save the life of an aid worker (Jessica Alba.)

Pros - There’s a couple of inventive actions moments in the film, and Jason Statham is great in these roles as always.

Cons - The rest of the film can best be described as bafflingly dull. It’s biggest problem is how unbelievably cheap the whole film looks. It’s like they took the small budget, and spent it all on travel costs and boats. The rest of the cast is on autopilot, the backstory and plot are a joke, and the pacing is idiotically dumb. The whole film plays out like a lazy satire of bad action films, that forgot to put in the satire. In the simpsons universe, this movie would star McBain.

Final Score - 1/10

If basic action films are your game, then this is for you. For everyone else, skip it.

Next - Don’t Breathe: I’m really looking forward to this one. I’ll try to get this out soon.

Links:

Last Review is Here: My last review was actually a milestone for me. You can read that here.

Twitter Account is Here: You’ll get notices when the reviews are live as soon as I post them, plus any trailers, movie news, or updates on when I stream on Twitch. I’m always looking for new followers, and with more followers means more ways for you guys to contribute.

NEW!!! Suggestion Box is Here: Are you sick of gaps in my posts? Why not suggest a film or film series for me to watch? Suggestions will be completed in order received, and if you’d like to leave your name for a suggestion credit and anything you’d like me to promote (within reason) I’d be happy to do that too. This suggestion box will be a permanent fixture of the blog, as again I’d love any and all help you guys want to offer.

Twitch Channel is Here: I’ll admit, I don’t quite have a regular streaming schedule worked out, but if you follow either the Twitter account or the channel directly you will be notified whenever I go live.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

200th Review Special: Favourite Genre Films

Newest Review is LIVE!!! It’s time for the 200th Review Folks.

Hello All,

    So for this special review, we are doing something a little bit different from the norm. I have selected a bunch of different film genres, including some from the suggestion box I had set up for this. We’re going to avoid the pro/con routine, and you can be assured that all the films listed are an easy 10/10. Now, before we begin, these are the rules.

1. Films from previous lists can be mentioned, favourites are favourites, this is more discussing why they’re my favourite of the genre.
2. Some of these maybe a combination of genres, and count if they do the genre selected for this review very well.
3. No films that came out in 2016. That’d be too easy.

Sound good? So let’s get to the films shall we?

1. (Suggestion Box Idea #1) Thriller: Reservoir Dogs (Sub Genre: Crime Thriller) - So if you’ve read my Top 5 Favourite Films review you would know that this is my favourite film of all time, so i’ve discussed it a bit there. The reason I choose this for thriller is, while it is a crime film, you never actually see the central crime of the film. It’s more the thrill of trying to figure what happened and why that drives home the heart of the story, and to me makes it just that awesome.

2. (Suggestion Box Idea #2) Comedy: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Sub Genre: Surreal Slapstick Comedy) - This holds a special place in my heart. This was one of the first films my dad showed me when I was a kid that really stuck with me. Even though I was a kid, It showed me that it was okay for adults to like silly humour as well. The film itself is comedic genius, as it takes a classic medieval legend and just twists it so far off it’s original idea and just leaves you wondering just what the hell else is going to happen in it. It’s just the right mix if the most unexpected and side splitting jokes that I can still watch it many years later and laugh just as hard as I did the first time. Fun fact: When I moved out, My dad let me keep the DVD copy of the film he originally bought. I’m still really glad he did.

3. Romance: True Romance (Sub Genre: Romantic Crime) - For a lot of people, when they hear of a romantic crime duo, they think of Bonnie and Clyde. For me though, I have to go with Clarence and Alabama from True Romance. An amazing cast, with an equally amazing script originally written by Quentin Tarantino, lends itself to being in my mind possibly one of the most honest films about love ever made. It doesn’t go overboard into the melodramatic territory (which wants to make my inner six year old vomit), but at the same time in amongst the crime ridden story of the film itself, you can clearly see the whole way through just how much the lead characters clearly just love each other with all their hearts. Honestly, films like this make me want to tell Nicholas Sparks to go back to the drawing board.

4. Drama: Fight Club - Yep, you read this right, Fight Club is considered a Drama. I’ll be the first to admit, it’s hard to see in amongst the chaos of the story itself. If you step back and think about it though, If you suddenly found yourself running a fight club/terrorist organization with your best friend, you’d consider that a pretty dramatic turn of events in your life. What a lot of people forget is that Drama comes in many forms, and not all of it (at least filmmaking wise) has to be slow, somber, melancholy dramas that are simply dramatic because they’re sad and slow (I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m allergic to slow dramas.) Fight Club proves that life can be both dramatic and entertaining, a mix we desperately need more of.

5. Mystery: Oldboy (2003 Version, Sub Genre: Mystery Neo Noir Thriller) - Good mysteries are sometimes the simplest, at least on the surface. The mystery in Oldboy surrounds the protagonist, and presents itself to him very simply: Who imprisoned you for twenty years, and why did they do it? It the twenty years part that is always intriguing to me. What do you have to do to someone that they take twenty years of your life without hesitation? The answers in this film are possibly some of the most mind blowing I’ve ever seen, and it’s a must for any lovers of mystery or foreign films.

6. Science Fiction: Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (Sub Genre: Epic Space Opera) - The number 6 of my all time favourite films, it’s honestly my go to answer for Sci Fi simply because once again this was from when I was a kid watching films with my dad. Star Wars holds a special place in a lot of people’s hearts, as I think it was most people’s first introduction to the idea of science fiction. Truth be told, the film itself is awesome, and there’s a reason it still holds up today, even over the new ones Disney are making.

7. Western: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly (Sub Genre: Epic Spaghetti Western) - So Django Unchained was admittedly a pretty close second for me, but for Westerns, there’s no better place to turn to than the Spaghetti Western subgenre. There’s just something about the way those films look and play out, and there’s no better example in my mind than Sergio Leone’s third entry into hsi man with no name trilogy. All three films are amazing, and if you can I’d say find the boxset, but the third one gets the mix just right. It has all the right plot points for a western, and the story and action are just awesome.

Alright folks, we have to stop there for now because believe it or not, these were the genre’s I could actually decide favourites for. For next time, we still have Action, Fantasy, Crime, Adventure, and many others to get through.

Guys, thank you so much for helping me get to 200 reviews. Without the incredible response from you guys and the incredible amount of feedback, I wouldn’t have made it this far. Here’s to another 100 reviews, as we got many more great, bad, and in between films to review, plus more of the specials, retro, and series reviews in between.

Next: Mechanic Ressurection - Hey, remember that Jason Statham action movie from a few years ago where he plays an assassin? No? Me neither mostly, but it’s sequel is coming out anyways.

Links:

Last Review is Here: Last time, I squeezed in a double review to have as much time as possible to get this done. You can read that here.

Twitter Account is Here: You’ll get notices when the reviews are live as soon as I post them, plus any trailers, movie news, or updates on when I stream on Twitch. I’m always looking for new followers, and with more followers means more ways for you guys to contribute.

NEW!!! Suggestion Box is Here: Are you sick of gaps in my posts? Why not suggest a film or film series for me to watch? Suggestions will be completed in order received, and if you’d like to leave your name for a suggestion credit and anything you’d like me to promote (within reason) I’d be happy to do that too. This suggestion box will be a permanent fixture of the blog, as again I’d love any and all help you guys want to offer.

Twitch Channel is Here: I’ll admit, I don’t quite have a regular streaming schedule worked out, but if you follow either the Twitter account or the channel directly you will be notified whenever I go live.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Double Movie Review: Kubo and the Two Strings (2016) & War Dogs (2016)

Newest Review is LIVE!!! Accidental double review is Accidental.

Hello All,

    So today was interesting for me. By pure chance I ended being able to cover the other two movies that came out this week. They are quite different from each other, truth be told I’m exhausted and am simply going to write this quickly. So let’s get to it shall we?

Kubo and the Two Strings Review

Plot Summary - Kubo (Art Parkinson) is a young boy who lives in a cave with his ill mother. When he stays out late one night, he is attacked by his two aunts (Rooney Mara) and is forced to flee. When he wakes up, he finds Monkey (Charlize Theron) waiting over him, who swears to protect him. Along the way, the meet up with Beetle (Matthew McConaughey) who also lends his aide to the journey.

Pros - As per typical of Laika productions, the animation quality is simply breathtaking. They manage to pull off some amazing stuff with it, and it lends itself to the wonderful story amazingly. The voice cast is spot on too, with Charlize and Matthew both being the easy stand outs of the film. The pacing is great, and even the elements of the story that might seem similar to others is given a nice spin to serve the story well.

Cons - George Takei was labelled as being in this, and he is, but just kind of barely which I’ll admit is a bit of a waste. What we get is good, but he could’ve done more. While did enjoy the movie a lot, I will admit (and maybe it’s because I’ve seen a lot of these lately) but the sadder moments in the film didn’t hit me as hard as I thought they would.

Final Score - 10/10

While it’s not quite the emotional roller coaster I thought it would be, Kubo is a film that I think everyone can enjoy.

War Dogs

Plot Summary - Based on the true story of the AEY Inc. company, it follows childhood friends Efraim Diveroli (Jonah Hill) and David Packouz (Miles Teller) as they become arms dealers for the united states government during the Afghanistan war.

Pros - The story is fascinating, even if parts of it are made up. The duo work well together in the film, and it is well paced and well told. It shows us a side of war that few people ever talk about.

Cons - It’s more drama than comedy, so if you're expecting a laugh riot you might be disappointed.

Final Score - 8/10

It’s a pretty interesting watch regardless. Not going to change anyone’s views on anything but it’s a cool story to hear.

Next - 200th Review Special!!! I have to put the finishing touches on it, but it will be up on Wednesday at the latest.

Links:

Last Review is Here: Last time I reviewed a remake, I’ll let you figure out how that went.

Twitter Account is Here: You’ll get notices when the reviews are live as soon as I post them, plus any trailers, movie news, or updates on when I stream on Twitch. I’m always looking for new followers, and with more followers means more ways for you guys to contribute.

NEW!!! Suggestion Box is Here: Are you sick of gaps in my posts? Why not suggest a film or film series for me to watch? Suggestions will be completed in order received, and if you’d like to leave your name for a suggestion credit and anything you’d like me to promote (within reason) I’d be happy to do that too. This suggestion box will be a permanent fixture of the blog, as again I’d love any and all help you guys want to offer.

Twitch Channel is Here: I’ll admit, I don’t quite have a regular streaming schedule worked out, but if you follow either the Twitter account or the channel directly you will be notified whenever I go live.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.