Hello All,
How do you make a horror movie boring? Sure I’ve brought this up in other reviews, but this time I’m straight posing this as a question. How do you make a horror movie boring? The simplest answer would be to make a horror film, that has no horror. So then what are you making? Well, something like Flatliners. Yeah early spoiler but jesus this sucked to watch. Why? Well, let’s find together shall we?
Plot Summary - When five friends embark on an experiment to find out what happens when you die, the results turn out to be more deadly than they could have ever imagined.
Pros - Diego Luna does a great job playing the voice of reason throughout the film. I also like the cast they got together for the film, and there was a genuinely unexpected moment as well.
Cons - The films biggest problem is it’s lack of scares. I haven’t seen the original flatliners, but from my understanding it focused more on the psychological aspects of the experiment rather than the horror, and while the film does have that, to a very minimal degree, it decides to focus more on the horror. While not a bad idea, there’s almost nothing for the first half of the film (which would be fine if what came before it wasn’t cliched, and uninteresting) and when it finally does it’s mostly bland, generic, jumpscares. It wouldn’t be as bad except the characters are basically one note archetypes (who barely get defined as one note) and they all go through the story beats you expect. Their motivations also wildly vary from sensible to mundane, and honestly the whole thing is so forgettable I’m struggling to remember it while writing this. What was the name of this thing again?
Final Score - 1/10
Who made this and why? And how bad do they feel about it now? Whatever it is, it’s not enough. This sucks. Go watch paint dry, that has a better chance of being more horrifying.
Next: The Mountain Between Us - God that name sounds like a bad harlequin romance novel. At least I figured out what my bar for it is now, which is nice.
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Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.
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