Double Movie Review: Ingrid Goes West (2017) & Birth of the Dragon (2017)

Hello All,

    It’s a limited release kind of week this week. No really, where I live the biggest thing out this week is the Terminator 2 3D re-release. When I started writing this review, I admittedly didn’t even have a plan of what to see next (Edit: I know now, I’ll put it down below). So this week I had to go out of my way to see the films listed above. One’s a film about social media obsession, and the other one is an adaptation of a true story. So how are these films from the path less tread? Let’s find out together shall we?

Ingrid Goes West Review

Plot Summary - Ingrid Thorburn (Aubrey Plaza) is mentally unstable young woman who, after losing her mother and suffering a series of personal setbacks, heads out to California to find Social Media Star Taylor Sloane (Elizabeth Olsen) and start her life anew….at least at first.

Pros - Having never seen parks and rec, I now finally understand why people love Aubrey Plaza because she is at her deadpan best here. Playing Ingrid straightforward in a way that makes the character so horrifying but in such a fascinating way. The humour throughout the film is amped up because of this and Olsen as Taylor makes a tremendous counterpart, making Taylor comes across someone who is clearly always putting on a front, even if it seems like she herself isn’t quite fully aware of it. This ambiguity between the pair of them helps the tone of story rise itself above the quality of something like an after school special or a psa.

Cons - Some of the dialogue and performances may seem a bit on the nose for some people, so if you’re don’t to feel like you’re being preached at, maybe go in a bit more open minded than usual.

Final Score - 10/10

If it’s out near you, go see it, especially if you know someone with a social media problem, you may need to take notes.

Birth of the Dragon Review

Plot Summary - Inspired by the true story, Birth of the Dragon tells the story around of a legendary fight between Martial Arts Legend Bruce Lee and Shaolin Monk Master Wong Jack Man.

Pros - When Lee and Wong are on the screen together, they do make an interesting duo, especially when they fight. The film also does it’s best to try and keep in line with the actual history of it’s characters and the actual history surrounding the fight, while also tweaking a few key changes to make the film more interesting. The Kung Fu scenes as well for the most part are pretty sweet.

Cons - The rest of the story however is kind of the worst part. It’s not only badly generic with uninteresting characters and a so standard it’s almost weirdly terrifying if you think about too much star crossed lover plotline that also somehow makes chinese gangsters boring, it renders Wong and Lee as secondary characters in the film that was supposed to be centered around them. Instead the film follows generic white guy everyman (Which I normally don’t touch upon, but it hurts more for me because he overshadows BRUCE MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN LEE) and the story of his chinese love interest who's being held by gangsters...and it has the nerve to be so fucking boring.

Final Score - 5/10

Why? Because I saw this movie with my Dad, who normally doesn’t like Kung Fu movies, and he said he enjoyed it. It’s not his favourite movie by any means, but any film that usually makes someone like a new genre, is okay in my book. That and the scene where they team up and fight the gangsters is pretty fucking cool.

Next: Good Time - An ambitious name. This will be interesting.

Links:

Want to read more? Click Below for my last review. What is it of? The previous review, which was also a double, so four for the price of two, which is the price of one, which is free. But you get more though.

Follow me on Social Media

Want something reviewed? Click Below to leave a suggestion.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Double Movie Review: Wind River (2017) & Logan Lucky (2017)

Hello All,

    I managed to get back on track with all delays going on. I really don’t have much to say before this so let’s just get to it shall we?

Wind River Review

Plot Summary - When wildlife service agent Cory Lambert (Jeremy Renner) is called up to the Wind River Indian reservation and finds the body of one of it’s residents, FBI Agent Jane Banner (Elizabeth Olsen) is called up to assist.

Pros - The casting is spot on, it’s especially great to see Renner and Olsen flex their muscles outside of Marvel movies. The story is somber and haunting and it’s a great mystery on top of that.

Cons - There’s not as much action as Writer/Director Taylor Sheridan’s other efforts but it’s still pretty solid overall.

Final Score - 9/10

Not quite as solid as I was hoping but still a really damn good movie.

Logan Lucky Review

Plot Summary - Hoping to break a family curse, brothers Jimmy (Channing Tatum), and Clyde Logan (Adam Driver) devise a plan to rob a speedway during the Coca Cola 600.

Pros - The movie is hilarious, the heist is both simplistic and yet clever at the same time, and it’s got a great set of characters as well, that are well acted to boot.

Cons - The ending is a bit ambiguous, so if you’re not a fan of that you won’t like that aspect much.

Final Score - 10/10

One of the better movies I’ve seen this year, if this means we get more Steven Soderbergh that’s fine with me.

Next: Birth of the Dragon/Ingrid Goes West - It’s another double this Sunday, as for once I got a busy weekend this weekend.

Links:

Want to read more? Click Below for my last review. What is it of? Something a little bit spooky.

Follow me on Social Media

Want something reviewed? Click Below to leave a suggestion.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Movie Review: Annabelle Creation (2017)

Hello All,

    So I find myself somewhat repeating history here. For the second year in a row, I have just watched a prequel to a poorly received horror film that came out years earlier that I never saw. Admittedly with the rise of indie horror films that are not only good, but profitable as well, my guess is that it’s causing studios to take a step back and really look at what makes films scary. To kind of get back on track, the previous film I’m talking about is of course last year's Ouija: Origin of Evil. So how does this repeat in history stand up on it’s own? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - In 1955, a group of orphans and their nun move into the mullins house. While there, everything at first seems peaceful, but with discovery of a locked room and a creepy doll, things soon take a turn for the sinister.

Pros - The actors playing the girls are great, and the horror manages to be tense and terrifying. I’m particularly impressed by the scenes they managed to pull off in broad daylight.

Cons - The story feels slightly thin, and it’s also admittedly hard to not think about Ouija in the back of your head the whole time you’re watching.

Final Score - 8/10

Overall a great film. Definitely worth the wait, and if they keep making Conjuring universe films like this, I’m on board.

Next:  Gamera VS. Zigra or Wind River -  Depending on how the next day goes.

Links:

Want to read more? Click Below for my last review. What is it of? Something a bit more fun.

Follow me on Social Media

Want something reviewed? Click Below to leave a suggestion.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Movie Review: The Hitman's Bodyguard (2017)

Hello All,

    It’s been a weird few weeks for me. Scheduling has been running me ragged, along with a slew of personal issues. So clearly this was the time to watch a silly movie, and what better combination of people for said silly movie the Deadpool and Nick Fury? Sorry, Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson. So how well does the pair hold up? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - Bodyguard Michael Bryce (Ryan Reynolds) is struggling years after a job gone wrong. When a former girlfriend calls him asking for his help, he finds himself escorting a key witness for a major trial: Professional Hitman Darius Kincaid (Samuel L. Jackson). With only 27 between them and the trial, and with every mercenary in between them, they must set aside their differences or find themselves dead.

Pros - The whole film coasts on Reynolds and Jackson and they’re clearly the best part of the whole movie. The pair are a laugh riot, and are basically worth the price of admission alone. The action scenes are thrilling as well, managing to make full use of the close european environment they’re in. The soundtrack is really good also, with some surprising choices thrown in as well.

Cons - Elodie Yung as the love interest gets almost nothing to do, which is sad because she’s great when she’s around. Gary Oldman as the man on trial gets a few more moments and he is great, but again not much to do. The story is possibly the biggest problem though, as it feels sort of basic. You can see certain plot points coming from a mile away, and not very much happens other than them trying to get there.

Final Score - 6/10

It’s worth it for the main duo, but beyond that there’s not much depth. Good for a few easy laughs if that’s all you’re looking for.

Next: Annabelle: Creation - I’m late on this one, but when you’ve had the days I’ve had recently it’s really hard to get into the mood for a horror movie.

Links:

Want to read more? Click Below for my last review. What is it of? A spooktacular suggestion box review.

Follow me on Social Media

Want something reviewed? Click Below to leave a suggestion.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Suggestion Box Review: Scooby Doo Wrestlemania Mystery (2014)

Hello All,

    It feels good to come back to the suggestion box. I feel bad that I haven’t done one of these in a while, especially with a rather interesting entry up next. I was actually a really big fan of Scooby Doo growing up, and this was a great opportunity for me to get back into it and man there’s been a lot of straight to dvd scooby doo movies. On the wrestling side I’ve never been a hardcore fan, but thanks to some friends, I’m know enough to sort of observe from a distance. Before anyone says it, yes I know wrestling is fake, so is Game of Thrones so there. So how well would a combination of these ii things go over? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - When Shaggy and Scooby win a trip to WWE City to watch Wrestlemania, they bring the whole gang and soon find themselves in the center of both the WWE universe, and a strange mystery involving a Ghost Bear.

Pros - The animation is amazingly smooth and solid for a straight to dvd film, especially the details on the wrestlers in the movie. The voice cast of the mystery inc gang does well, and the wrestlers appearing as themselves all give great voiceovers, even making fun of themselves when they need too. The Ghost Bear is a cool villain, and they even manage to animate some pretty great/funny wrestling matches.

Cons - There are some plot points that are kind of weak, and not all the jokes land well. If you’re a wrestling fan only, the scooby doo stuff might grind your gears, and if you’re a scooby doo fan, the wrestling stuff probably won't interest you. If you don’t like either, then why are you even reading this?

Final Score - 7/10

Light hearted fun for fans of either group or both of them. It’s not going to be the greatest film ever made, but check it out if you’re considering it.

Next Suggestion: Uno The Movie - Google it. Seriously. Wish me luck.

Links:

Want to read more? Click Below for my last review. What is it of? A double review of one really good movie, and one really bad movie.

Follow me on Social Media

Want something reviewed? Click Below to leave a suggestion.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Double Movie Review: Kidnap (2017) & Girls Trip (2017)

Hello All,

So aside from Annabelle (and annabelle only, no force on this earth will make me watch nut job one just to watch nut job two,) I am now basically caught up with all the new movies out right now (in my area, which still doesn’t have Wind River.) So, how well did the last horses cross the finish line? Let’s find out together shall we?

Kidnap Review

Plot Summary - Karla Dyson (Halle Berry) is a single mother out with her son. When she looks away for a moment and turns back, she sees him getting kidnapped and begins the chase after him.

Pros - Halle Berry is putting in way more effort than she needs to for this. Like seriously by far and away she’s the only one trying to hold this thing together. I guess a few of the car stunts were alright.

Cons - Awful dialogue, beating you over-the-head sentimentality, and a rather crude implication made by the main character, the film feels like it was written in sections, over the course of many months, with huge gaps in between. Why do I say this? You can tell by the writing when the screenwriter clearly hit a dead end and had to spend either too much or not enough time trying to get himself (or her, or themselves) out of it. The special effects leave much to be desired, as at one point you can watch in helpless peril as a green screened version of her son is dangled over a road that he is nowhere near. Feel the wonderful sigh of relief when the movie is over and you try to repress the fact that you wasted time and money on this. What is my life?

Final Score - 1/10

Yeah, people…..this was worse than the emoji movie for me….I’m sorry, but I’d actually rather take the boredom that that movie had over this…..painfully bad affair. Fun Fact: It was made in 2014 and that the company that made this went bankrupt. I can see why.

Girls Trip Review

Plot Summary - The film follows four friends reuniting at the Essence Music Festival in order to have both the best time of their lives, and some of the worst times as well.

Pros - The cast has great chemistry, and the jokes are mostly funny. It does a good job of both not taking itself too seriously but at the same time giving the emotional moments real weight to them.

Cons - The whole thing feels like one long commercial for essence and while the movie doesn’t get annoying with it, I must dock one point on principal.

Final Score - 9/10

Still though, it’s good. Damn good.

Next: Suggestion Box Review - It’s going to be a good one.

Links:

Want to read more? Click Below for my last review. What is it of? A really cool film. No seriously go read it.

Follow me on Social Media

Want something reviewed? Click Below to leave a suggestion.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Movie Review: A Ghost Story (2017)

Hello All,

    The suggestion box review is on it’s way, but admittedly this movie caught my eye during what turned out to be a rather slow holiday weekend for me. So without further ado, let’s get to it shall we?

Plot Summary - When a young man only known as C (Casey Affleck) is killed unexpectedly, his ghost lingers to watch his lover M (Rooney Mara) as both she, and the world, continues on without him.

Pros - So the movie mostly moves along with minimal dialogue, allowing everybody more freedom to let their actions speak for them, which really works well for this film. Casey Affleck especially, since he goes through most of the film with a sheet over his head. The film also moves along at a great pace, since the scenery tells a good chunk of the story as well. The atmosphere manages to change on a whim, leaving you in some scenes overwhelmed at the love on display, and then easily sliding into fear when it needs too as well. It’s definitely a pretty neat type of both horror and romance film.

Cons - If you’re not a fan of arthouse films, which this film is in spades, then you will be bored to tears.

Final Score - 10/10

If you can get over the style, you’ll find yourself deeply engrossed in probably one of the most interesting films this year.

Next: Kidnap & Girls Trip - I’m knocking both of these out in one sweep, because then I’ll finally be back on track.

Links:

Want to read more? Click Below for my last review. What is it of? A battle of opposites, sort of. It didn’t get a lot of views, follow the link and fix that for me please?

Follow me on Social Media

Want something reviewed? Click Below to leave a suggestion.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Double Moive Review: Detroit (2017) & The Dark Tower (2017)

Hello All,

    Today seems to be an opposites kind of day. On one hand we have the based on a true story Detroit, and the other is the fantasy film The Dark Tower. What do these films have in common? Almost nothing. So with that stalling done, let’s get on with it shall we?

Detroit Review

Plot Summary - Based on the 1967 Detroit Riots, it tells an adaptation of the true life Algiers Motel incident that took place during the riots.

Pros - I actually have a lot of praise for the film overall. The cast is great, as well as the pacing and the story overall. The characters are well developed, and the film does a tremendous job of showing all the sides of the story.

Cons - The story does this weird thing in the third act where, while the rest of the film jumped around between everyone else involved, it instead turns its focus mainly on one man for the remainder of it. I can kind of see why they did, I just thought it was a bit off at first.

Final Score - 10/10

Overall I highly recommend it. It’s a great film, and a sadly still relevant one especially in todays troubled times.

The Dark Tower Review

Plot Summary -  One year after the death of his father, Jake Chambers (Tom Taylor) starts having dreams about a tower, a man in black, and a gunslinger. When bad guys begin to circle Jake however, he finds a portal to another world, and finds his dreams are more real than he thinks.

Pros - Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey are a great hero and villain pairing. Tom Taylor as Jake manages to hold his own as well.

Cons - I got to be honest here, I saw this film yesterday at the time of writing this, and I can barely remember what happened. The character development is lacking to start, and the story, even at 95 minutes, feels padded and overall pointless. Most of the supporting characters are also never named and contribute nothing. If the film had been over two hours, it probably would’ve given me enough time to care, or hell make it a duel film or even a trilogy, I just don’t understand why anybody thought 95 minutes was long enough?

Final Score - 1/10

Only for fans of the books, and even then go in with a grain of salt.

Next: Girls Trip - Also expect the suggestion box review this week as well.

Links:

Want to read more? Click Below for my last review. What is it of? Well, it does have what could’ve been my last review ever so…...yeah.

Follow me on Social Media

Want something reviewed? Click Below to leave a suggestion.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Movie Review: The Emoji Movie (2017)

Hello All,

    So, this is a bit awkward for me, as I did something a bit unusual for this particular review: I wrote it in advance. Let me explain. See, I heard that the movie was really bad. At the time of writing this, 8% on Rotten Tomatoes bad. Now, I’ve seen some shit movies in my life, but this one had me worried. So, on the off chance the movie actually proved to be fatal, I left behind one last review just in case. It was a really good one too, and surprisingly accurate as well. So I decided that, instead of repeating myself, that I would simply present to you the original note as I wrote it. Keep in mind while writing it I didn’t think that I would survive, so sorry in advance about the past tense. Now, enjoy the review.

Hello Sir/Madam/Anything else in between

   

    If you’re reading this note inside of a movie theatre on a cell phone, then that phone is most likely mine and I have probably died nearby while watching it. If no dead body is nearby, please simply call the home number and tell them you found this phone, or I will call it endlessly and send it dick pics until it is returned. If there is a dead body nearby, and the name attached to it is Ryan Woodill, then it is my phone, please keep reading this note. For any other dead body scenarios where that name is not around, please refer to the section about the dick pics.

    If you’re still reading this note at this point, then please consider this my last will and testament, and my last review as a movie blogger. To get this to my family for posting please call the home number and show them this note, they can take it from there. Please post the section of the note starting with Hello All, down to the appropriate ending which I will provide below.

Review section of note below.

Hello All,

   

    I am currently speaking to you from beyond the grave! Spooky I know, but also somewhat tragic. Unless you hate me, then I’m glad you’re happy. Since I’m dead, I will keep this section short, and get on with the review. So what movie was so bad that it literally ended up killing me? Well, hopefully all the right steps were taken and you were able to read the correct title. If not, then it was The Emoji Movie. So with my last breath having left my body, let’s for the final time get on with the review shall we?

Plot Summary - Gene (T.J. Miller) is a ‘meh’ emoji living in textopolis inside of his user’s phone. When he blows his big shot at meh due to his ability to express other emotions, he decides to leave textopolis and get himself fixed, but finds the journey will be harder than they expected (You know, considering this movie killed me, I wrote I really nice summary for it. Professional to the end. Literally.)

(Hi, so just to interject really quick, I was writing this section as I was watching the movie. You’ll see where I kind of trailed off a touch, I also switched between pros and cons as I saw them.)

Pros - From the looks of it there is some good casting here. Stephen Wright is so god as Meh’s dad that it almost feels like a cheat. Patrick Stewart as Poop as only a few good moments because he appears to be barely in it. There are the odd half good jokes here and there, and some good visuals as well.

Cons - Most of the jokes are either lazy, stupid, or nonsensical. Aside from the above mentioned the rest of the cast is either mediocre or awful. James Corden is by far the worst amongst them, with Christina Aguilera as a close fucking second only because they give her nothing to do except give instructions on how to dance to a song she in real life sung on. Don’t even get me started on the fucking product placement as well. They spend an entire scene playing candy crush, and they also give you instructions on how to play it as well. In between the lame jokes and product placement are just ripoffs and cliches from the better movies that this…..abortion of a thing calling itself a film is clearly wanting to be. I am honestly having more fun writing these notes, and yet I still feel the icy hand of death creeping up on me while watching this. Also, why do they spend half of the movie with meh’s parents and their marital problems? Holy shit I really don’t care, even with Stephen Wright talking and…..was that a Casablanca reference I just heard? NO! YOU DON’T GET TO DO THAT EMOJI MOVIE!!! You know what? Fuck it…..I don’t think I’m going to make it…….this film…….is just so goddamn bad…….goodbye…….

Final Score: 1/10 - The few moments of mediocrity save this from just being a zero, but admittedly in a toss up between this and transformers 5, at least this one is short.

Well, there you have it, my last review. Wish I could tell you all how being dead is, unless I actually figured how to do it then ignore this sentence. Guess I should take care of some other things while I’m here, so I will leave you all with this.

Since I am dead, I request the following for my final wishes:

1. I want Sony Animations Studio (specifically the buildings where they made this piece of shit in any capacity) burnt to the ground. Anyone who is feeling ashamed that their movie literally killed a man is invited to stand inside of any of the buildings as it burns.
1. Please use any and all official Emoji Movie merchandise all kindling for said fire.
2. If and/or when the main office rebuilt, I would like pictures from the animated Popeye movie they turned down to make The Emoji Movie instead pinned everywhere it can be seen from inside the building. If nearby buildings that can be seen from anywhere inside are willing, please also hang giant posters of Popeye up on them for at least 25 years.
3. Ban Sony from making anymore movies based on anything related or similar to Emoji’s, because it is clear that they either don’t, or are physically and mentally unable to care about quality control.
4. Have all Emoji Movie profits from both the actual movie and all tie-in products donated to the guys who made the Lego Movie, because they know how to turn a shit idea into something amazing, and they deserve it more. Or whatever charities the Lego Movie guys choose just in case, but no pressure.
5. The person who approved the making of The Emoji Movie (and/or the person who turned down the Popeye adaptation as well, unless they are the same person) must both publically and in person apologize to everyone who has seen the movie, and if requested by any of those people, to refund them double their admission price with the money put aside for any potential sequels (If no sequels are greenlit, then use the money going into Sony’s cinematic ‘Venomverse’ and they must also give Marvel back any remaining character rights once this is done because Sony will probably just fuck this up as well. (Keep Tom Hardy as Venom though Marvel, that I would’ve liked to see.))
6. In addition, please remove the following emoji’s from all future devices: meh, hi-5, basically any of the real ones they used in the movie.
7. Get T.J. Miller better work forever. Also, buy him something nice for being in this piece of shit, whatever he got wasn’t enough for the indignity.
8. Have Rob Riggle be declared both a national hero in his home country, and a genius, because he did the smart thing and went uncredited in this movie.
9. Anyone who submits a positive review anywhere for the Emoji Movie (even ironically) is automatically to be considered in league with ISIS, and should be added onto any appropriate government watch lists accordingly.
10. Since I’m here and these must be done legally, I also would like the biggest, most uncomfortable to lie or sit upon in anyway transformers toy surgically inserted into Transformers (2007) director Michael Bay in a non-lethal way that will cause the most discomfort for him for the rest of his natural life, just like he did for any moviegoer with a functional brain.

And for all my lovely fans, thank you for all your support, and keep thinking critically.

Ryan.

Not to jerk myself off too much, but I thought it was a great review. I mean the movie itself sucked so much goddamn ass, but hey I got this out of it so. Also if anyone’s wondering, I didn’t leave directions for my family in there for when I died, because they already know what to do. Not to reveal too much, but a lot of sheep will be sacrificed when I die.

Next: Dark Tower - I’m also going to try and do a suggestion box review soon. Stay tuned!

Links:

Want to read more? Click Below for my last review. What is it of? Two movies that were way better.

Follow me on Social Media

Want something reviewed? Click Below to leave a suggestion.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.