Hello All,
I almost considered not writing this review because what can I say about this film that I haven’t already said about the other films in the franchise? I really wanted to skip this one, but admittedly this needs to at least be officially acknowledged in my mind in order for it to count for year end lists (Yes I’m already considering it, which one you may ask? You’ll find out soon). So with that being said let’s get to it shall we?
Plot Summary - Look, does anyone really care if I just don’t write this section this time? Anyone who likes these movies usually don’t give enough of a shit about them anyways and they’re all the fucking same so, let’s move on.
Pros - Anthony Hopkins is clearly enjoying his role even if it leaves him with nothing to do, and there’s like an interesting idea about earth being unicron but that’s clearly a setup for the inevitable next one because God has abandoned us and this was able to happen because of that.
Cons - You know, I could copy and paste my cons list from the last one I reviewed, but honestly as much as the hatred for these films are still there in my heart, the passion to rip on them has just been deflated because these films will never fucking stop until people fucking smarten up and realize the visual shit sandwich being shoved down all of our collective throats. Michael Bay once again clearly does not give a shit beyond explosions, sexual exploitation of women (no matter how many glasses and fancy titles he gives their characters), and trying to advance camera technology. I’m sure while we all complain about these films, he’s out in the world trying to bang teenagers because the man is cancerous parasite. The thing about this film that finally drained me was the fact that (it feels like at least) everything scene change has a different aspect ratio. For anyone who doesn’t know, aspect ratio is basically how big it looks on the screen, like widescreen and fullscreen. Most films usually stay in one aspect ratio unless they use a different one for particular scenes. If done right, they can be pretty cool. But when it happens constantly for seemingly random scenes, I can’t take the filmmaker seriously anymore. Mr. Bay, if you ever read this, I want you to know that the moment you are buried in the ground, I’m going to shit on your grave. If they spread your ashes, I’ll piss in the wind. While you’re still alive however, STOP MAKING MOVIES!
Final Score - 0/10
Consider this me finally being done with these fucking movies. I’m deadly serious. I can no longer in good conscience cross this fucking bridge anymore, because they’re too fucking long and I come out with nothing at the other end. For those of you out there who still like these movies, good for you, I hope you reach maturity some day.
Next: Baby Driver - That won’t be until Wednesday, I might do something in between though.
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Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.
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