Hello All,
Well, if you missed the livestream for this, that will be up within the next day (hopefully). If you weren’t aware of me doing it, and are wondering why I’m only reviewing this now, let’s just say it was putting off the inevitable. Lord knows I hated the first one, and this one wasn’t exactly getting high praises from other critics. Unfortunately, because I actually listen to my audience, I decided to make up for my recent absenteeism by actually watching it. And what did I think? Well, let’s find out together shall we?
Plot Summary - After the events of the first film, Anastasia (Dakota Johnson) runs into Christian (Jamie Dornan), and decides to start their relationship over again.
Pros - Honestly, it had one funny line, and one cute moment. That’s it. That was LITERALLY IT!
Cons - Somehow, it manages to not only carry over problems from the first film, but throws in new ones just to make it worse. The characters are still unlikeable, the sex is dull and is rather short at a total of ten minutes overall (for the record the film is 131 minutes long), and to top it all off the whole film is just technically broken. There’s no plot, no pacing, no sense of timing, shit just happens. There’s three different subplots that together wouldn’t fill an episode of CSI and yet they pad this shit out over two hours because God hates you and wants you to know that.
Final Score - 1/10
If you have to watch this, for the love of god get some booze, drugs, and friends, because otherwise you’ll just want to die.
Next: The Mummy - At last. I’ll make it a double review with It Comes at Night.
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Want to read more? Click Below for my last review. What is it of? A much better movie than this one. Go read it please, and forget about this movie because I might never be able too.
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Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.
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