Movie Review: Baby Driver (2017)

Hello All,

    It’s weird to me that for two weeks in a row, we had a movie release on Wednesday instead of Friday (or Thursday Night sometimes.) It’s certainly been throwing wrenches into my schedule, and that kind of thing drives me nuts. The last movie to come out on a Wednesday was so bad I almost just gave up. So how’s this week’s contribution? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - Baby (Ansel Elgort) is a heist getaway driver paying off a debt to a crime lord known as Doc (Kevin Spacey.) When he meets the girl of his dreams and tries to get out, he finds getting out isn’t as easy as he thought.

Pros - The whole movie overall is mind blowing. Writer/Director Edgar Wright has been reported as having worked on this script since the nineties and you can see that in the details. The casting feels spot-on, especially Ansel Elgort as Baby. There’s a tremendous supporting cast, each of whom have their own moments throughout the film. The writing is superb, as it has Wright’s classic charm and humour throughout. The music selection is fantastic as well, both managing to stand out at the right moments, while maintaining excellent background noise when needed. The chase and action scenes are well done, as it manages to keep upping the intensity over the course of the film. This is definitely going to be a film worth multiple viewings, especially looking for details in the background of the film.

Cons - If you’re not a big fan of car chases and gunfights, it’s not going to do you any good to see it.

Final Score - 10/10

At the time of writing this, this is my favourite film so far this year. While it does have some tough competition from films I’ve already seen, it also has plenty of foes over the horizon, so it will be interesting to see if this changes.

Next: The House - Admittedly don’t know when yet, because it is Canada Day weekend here, and I intend on celebrating. So stay tuned.

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The Complete Series: Gamera VS Jiger (1970)

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    So I’m going to try and slowly reintegrate these back into my rotation, just not in an overwhelming way. So when we last left Gamera, he was in space saving kids from a giant walking knife. So what’s the next logical step of course? Fighting a monster summoned by a curse….kind of. Let’s get to it and I’ll explain shall we?

Plot Summary - When an archeological dig draws the attention of Gamera, they manage to chase him off long enough to complete the dig. After that however, they learn too late that they had awoken the ancient monster known as Jiger.

Pros - Truth be told, this is actually the best of the Gamera movies so far. The plot is simple yet complicated, it plays out logically and yet manages to reach silly heights, it has great monster fights, and the human story remains relevant throughout the film. The effects are still cool, Jiger is a great monster, and it’s overall both tense and fun.

Cons - A few editing hiccups and admittedly some scenes take a touch long sometimes.

Final Score - 10/10

I’m not even joking here, this one is the best one of the lot. They didn’t reuse any footage, and it’s all new and makes sense. It definitely helps to watch the rest of the series before hand, but this one should be great on it’s own.

Next in the series: Gamera VS Zigra - The penultimate chapter of this saga, hopefully I can get to this one soon.

Next: Baby Driver - We’re aiming for tomorrow at the time of writing. I cannot wait.

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Movie Review: Transformers The Last Knight (2017)

Hello All,

    I almost considered not writing this review because what can I say about this film that I haven’t already said about the other films in the franchise? I really wanted to skip this one, but admittedly this needs to at least be officially acknowledged in my mind in order for it to count for year end lists (Yes I’m already considering it, which one you may ask? You’ll find out soon). So with that being said let’s get to it shall we?

Plot Summary - Look, does anyone really care if I just don’t write this section this time? Anyone who likes these movies usually don’t give enough of a shit about them anyways and they’re all the fucking same so, let’s move on.

Pros - Anthony Hopkins is clearly enjoying his role even if it leaves him with nothing to do, and there’s like an interesting idea about earth being unicron but that’s clearly a setup for the inevitable next one because God has abandoned us and this was able to happen because of that.

Cons -  You know, I could copy and paste my cons list from the last one I reviewed, but honestly as much as the hatred for these films are still there in my heart, the passion to rip on them has just been deflated because these films will never fucking stop until people fucking smarten up and realize the visual shit sandwich being shoved down all of our collective throats. Michael Bay once again clearly does not give a shit beyond explosions, sexual exploitation of women (no matter how many glasses and fancy titles he gives their characters), and trying to advance camera technology. I’m sure while we all complain about these films, he’s out in the world trying to bang teenagers because the man is cancerous parasite. The thing about this film that finally drained me was the fact that (it feels like at least) everything scene change has a different aspect ratio. For anyone who doesn’t know, aspect ratio is basically how big it looks on the screen, like widescreen and fullscreen. Most films usually stay in one aspect ratio unless they use a different one for particular scenes. If done right, they can be pretty cool. But when it happens constantly for seemingly random scenes, I can’t take the filmmaker seriously anymore. Mr. Bay, if you ever read this, I want you to know that the moment you are buried in the ground, I’m going to shit on your grave. If they spread your ashes, I’ll piss in the wind. While you’re still alive however, STOP MAKING MOVIES!

Final Score - 0/10

Consider this me finally being done with these fucking movies. I’m deadly serious. I can no longer in good conscience cross this fucking bridge anymore, because they’re too fucking long and I come out with nothing at the other end. For those of you out there who still like these movies, good for you, I hope you reach maturity some day.

Next: Baby Driver - That won’t be until Wednesday, I might do something in between though.

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Double Movie Review: Meghan Leavey (2017) & All Eyez On Me (2017)

Hello All,

    It’s been a week since the last time I did one of these, and I got to say, these breaks in between have kind of helped me rejuvenate a little bit. I’m going to avoid going back to pumping these out once a day, but I do plan to keep the variety up. Having recently just moved, there will be days for a while where you may not hear from this blog, but I promise we’re not going away. So with that said, let’s talk about the movies shall we?

Meghan Leavey Review

Plot Summary - Based on the true story, the film follows Meghan’s (Kate Mara) efforts to adopt her bomb sniffer dog Rex after her tour in the marines.

Pros - Kate Mara carries this film on her back, and she does it well. The story plays out at a nice comfortable pace, and it feels like one of the most grounded and real bio pics that I’ve seen in awhile.

Cons - It can’t help but play out a few cliches, and while the film is refreshing in it’s lack of exaggeration, at the same time it can’t quite shake the fact that it’s played so straight that it kind of drags down its overall pacing.

Final Score - 8/10

A good film, if not exactly a genre redefining masterpiece.

All Eyez On Me Review

Plot Summary - Based on the true story of Tupac Shakur (Demetrius Shipp Jr.), and his rise to fame a prominence

Pros - Shipp’s performance is great as Tupac, as he captures both the man’s intensity and caring and balances that very well.

Cons - The rest of the film is a dull mess. The dialogue is heavy handed as hell, and most of it rings as cliche and hollow. Scenes don’t last more than a few minutes, and the transitions between them are non existent. Every aspect of the story is underdeveloped to death, and by the halfway point of the film I was so lost I almost left. The first half of the film is done using this awful framing device, and it just serves to help that half feel like the film was just going down a checklist. In fact, that’s basically the whole film in a nutshell: A checklist of things that happened to Tupac, told to us without backstory, and dropped without followup. It doesn’t help that the film looks like it was made on the cheap as well.

Final Score - 1/10

I can only really recommend this to hardcore fans, but even then I think the man deserves a better movie than this.

Next: Transformers 5 - Is it too late to take another week off?

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Movie Review: Rough Night (2017)

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    Hey look I managed to get out on a Thursday for the first time in a while. There’s really not much build up for this one, so let’s just get to it shall we?

Plot Summary - Five friends from college reunite for a wild bachelorette weekend, only to accidentally kill a male stripper, setting off the real party afterwards.

Pros - There are a few jokes in there that are actually really funny. The film leans more on dark and unpredictable humour which is a refreshing change of pace. The cast is also pretty good, each kind of getting their own moments in the film.

Cons - Most of the jokes fall flat, as there are way too many that are padded out too long. The ending is also weirdly anticlimactic, and for reasons beyond me there are actually multiple end credit scenes that are also not funny. There are really big names in very minor roles that really go nowhere.

Final Score - 3/10

It’s not great, but it’s definitely better than most. If you need a night out with some friends and a cheap laugh, you could do worse.

Next: Megan Leavy - I’m probably never going to see Cars 3, and I do need to catch up so, yeah.

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Double Movie Review: It Comes at Night (2017) & The Mummy (2017)

Hello All,

    By complete accident we have a bit of a theme today. Two recent horror, or at least horror related movies. One’s an indie film made on a low budget, the other one a major blockbuster. So which one is the better one in this case? Let’s find out together shall we?

It Comes at Night Review

Plot Summary - When a secluded family waiting out an apocalyptic plague find an intruder in their house, they decide to let him and his family move in as well. Tensions begin to rise however as strange happenings cause them all to suspect the rest of being infected.

Pros - The cast is great, and the minimalist creepy atmosphere is really effective with the story. There’s this great sense of tension throughout the film as well.

Cons - The plot leaves things very vague, and it’s a very slow moving film as well, so if you’re not a fan then this is not for you.

Final Score - 6/10

It’s definitely a slow, vague film, so if that’s not for you stay far away. Otherwise, you’re bound to get some creepy vibes off of it.

The Mummy Review

Plot Summary - When an ancient egyptian princess is uncovered by Military Officer Nick Morton (Tom Cruise), an ancient evil begins to stir and Nick must team up with some unusual allies in order to save the day.

Pros - There are some cool scenes and ideas on display here.

Cons - The rest of the film is a boring chore. It’s a 75 minute plot stretched out to over a hundred minutes. There’s so much padding, nothing is surprising, and it’s not that the people involved are awful, it’s just they have nothing to really do.

Final Score - 1/10

Skip it. It’s honestly boring, and I hope that the Dark Universe they’re aiming at doing picks up from here, because it can’t get worse right?

Next: Rough Night - I’ll also try and get to Meghan Leavey at some point.

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Movie Review: Fifty Shades Darker (2017)

Hello All,

    Well, if you missed the livestream for this, that will be up within the next day (hopefully). If you weren’t aware of me doing it, and are wondering why I’m only reviewing this now, let’s just say it was putting off the inevitable. Lord knows I hated the first one, and this one wasn’t exactly getting high praises from other critics. Unfortunately, because I actually listen to my audience, I decided to make up for my recent absenteeism by actually watching it. And what did I think? Well, let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - After the events of the first film, Anastasia (Dakota Johnson) runs into Christian (Jamie Dornan), and decides to start their relationship over again.

Pros - Honestly, it had one funny line, and one cute moment. That’s it. That was LITERALLY IT!

Cons - Somehow, it manages to not only carry over problems from the first film, but throws in new ones just to make it worse. The characters are still unlikeable, the sex is dull and is rather short at a total of ten minutes overall (for the record the film is 131 minutes long), and to top it all off the whole film is just technically broken. There’s no plot, no pacing, no sense of timing, shit just happens. There’s three different subplots that together wouldn’t fill an episode of CSI and yet they pad this shit out over two hours because God hates you and wants you to know that.

Final Score - 1/10

If you have to watch this, for the love of god get some booze, drugs, and friends, because otherwise you’ll just want to die.

Next: The Mummy - At last. I’ll make it a double review with It Comes at Night.

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Want to read more? Click Below for my last review. What is it of? A much better movie than this one. Go read it please, and forget about this movie because I might never be able too.

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Movie Review: Captain Underpants (2017) + 50 Shades Stream Update

Hello All,

    So sorry for my absenteeism lately. Between moving houses and a stomach bug I’ve been basically out of commission. I’m going to try and get back on track fairly soon, just as soon as things stabilize around me better. That being said, let’s just get to this review shall we?

Plot Summary - George Beard (Kevin Hart) and Harold Hutchins (Thomas Middleditch) are life long friends and practical jokers who live to make each other laugh. When the mean Principal Krupp (Ed Helms) threatens their friendship by putting them into separate classes, they hypnotize him and turn him into the amazing Captain Underpants.

Pros - The voice cast is actually a lot better than I thought they were going to be, particularly Ed Helms as both Krupp and Underpants. The animation is very true to the books, as well as most of the tone and humour. It’s also a really good hearted film, talking a lot about friendship and having joy in life that doesn’t feel like it’s pandering to the audience.

Cons - The comedy can feel a little frantic at times. It’s all very fast paced and while most of the jokes are funny, it just doesn’t let the jokes sink in as much as they could have. There’s also a lot of fourth wall breaking, and toilet humour, so if you’re not a big fan stay away.

Final Score - 8/10

Light hearted and fun, it’s great for kids and adults with a sense of humour.

Next: It Comes at Night - The Mummy will be a bit later due to scheduling issues, but hopefully this will be the start that finally gets me back on track.

Alright now the moment you’ve all been waiting for, the announcement of what day of the week I will be streaming fifty shades darker on.

With 29% of the vote, I will be streaming the movie on Sunday. Not just any Sunday, since I’ve been away for so long, I feel I owe you folks an apology, and what better way to apologize than to announce that I will be streaming it Next Sunday, June 11th starting around 930 - 10pm Atlantic time. There also might be another review before that, and I might have a special guest joining me for the stream as well, so stay tuned.

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Movie Review: Wonder Woman (2017)

Hello All,

    Sorry for the delay, but for the next little while, the reviews might be a bit more spaced out simply because of a lot of moving stuff around (including me). So apologies again, let’s get to it shall we?

Plot Summary - When Diana Prince (Gal Gadot) rescues spy Steve Trevor (Chris Pine) from the waters of her island, she learns of a great war beyond her world and sets out to help end it once and for all.

Pros - You know, overall the whole film is quite fantastic. Gal Gadot is amazing as Diana, as she manages to capture both her strength and courage, as well as her learning about the new world. They manage to do that in a way where it doesn’t feel like it’s played for laughs, which is honestly the smartest move they made in the movie. Chris Pine plays a perfect supporting character, making himself meaningful while also not overshadowing. The story plays out well, and is very well placed for how it plays out. It also manages to cover a lot of ground in terms of what she does, allowing you to see her in almost any type of setting you can think of, all while keeping the film interesting.

Cons - If I have to complain, I would say that maybe some of the other side characters are a bit one dimensional. Not to potentially spoil anything, but see if you can figure out which character has the most stereotypical name of the bunch.

Final Score - 10/10

I honestly debated 9 for some time, but not only is it the best DCEU movie, but it’s also the best female led superhero movie so far, so it earns points for me by basically just beating expectations.

Next: Captain Underpants - This one will be a bit late, simply because I am moving in a couple of days at the time of writing this. Once I settle into my new routine, I’ll try and get these out a bit more often, and even make some slight changes to things.

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