Let's just get this over with shall we?
Hello All,
At the very end of the first year I started these reviews, I did 2 things.
- I named my very first worst movie of the year.
- I named the award for future worst movies of the year after this film.
That film, was the reboot, of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise. I went on a rampage, describing the entire movie beat by beat, and why it was indeed the worst film I saw that year. Now, I will admit that I’ve seen worse films since then, but there’s always something special about your first. Especially since to this very day, it is still the highest read review, and my one of my biggest sources of traffic to this blog. The list of reviews on the right side of this blog shows my highest read reviews in order, and you will see the review for the first one at the top of that list. I recommend that after this one, you go read that one.
Imagine my surprise, and the agony I felt when I saw that the sequel was coming out. It didn’t help that I knew I had to go see it. So tonight, I swallowed my pride, and my fear, and watched the sequel, to the first worst film of the year I ever crowned. Now, only one question remains: Does it continue that legacy? Let’s find out together shall we?
Plot Summary - One year after the events of the first film, the turtles remain hidden underground as their daring defeat of Shredder has been credited to Vern Fenwick (Will Arnett.) Meanwhile, with the help of April O’Neil (Megan Fox), the turtles come across a plan to free the shredder, that evolves into an alliance with the evil Krang to conquer the world, bringing the turtles out of hiding once again to save the world.
Pros - Will Arnett was the best thing about the first movie, and he’s still the funniest thing in this franchise. The humour overall though has slightly improved since the last time. The film also introduces Krang, Bebop, and Rocksteady which are all welcome additions to the franchise. Hell, the film even manages to pull off some really cool shots.
Cons - The glaring problem from the first one, raises it’s ugly head in this one as well. The film does not regulate itself to any sort of consistent logic. Either everyone is really stupid, really smart, impossible things happen in a short amount of time, information and plot points fall out of the fucking sky, it’s just all so goddamn dumb. I know it sounds nitpicky, but that’s kind of what I do. If you are not being entertained by a film long enough that you can start noticing shit like this, then congratulations your sense of disbelief has you wrapped in a chokehold and is screaming in your ear. Not to mention the rest of the characters are badly written. The turtles are still somehow completely one dimensional (I know they have to be distinctive, but they also have to be interesting characters), Megan Fox still has no idea what to do as April O’Neil than to be a lamer Lois Lane, and holy shit Stephen Amell as Casey Jones is so frustratingly annoying I actually wanted him to stop talking. They don’t even get him to banter with Raphael, he’s just there to be dumb and fill voids in plans. The man spouts so much character exposition in his first few scenes he might as well be wearing a sign saying “Hi I’m Casey Jones, can’t you tell?” The story is badly written, Splinter has nothing to fucking do except for one funny scene (See humour above), and honestly It’s just awful.
Final Score - 2/10
That being said, It’s actually better than the first one. Not by much, and going over this again now knocked it down from being a 3, and I still cannot recommend this film to anyone except fans of the first one and the most forgiving Turtles fans.
Next - Popstar
I’m not typing out the full title fuck that. At least this one will be short, let’s just hope it can be good as well.
Links:
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Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.
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