After Oscar Thoughts and Summary

Hello All,

I am literally typing this immediately after the show. I want to start off that I came home late, but arrived right when the first award was handed out.  I wanted to go over my thoughts on everything and give you all my honest, summed up opinions about it because I know I will get asked eventually. Full disclosure: I usually don't watch the show, but with the blog in full swing I felt a need too this year.  So let’s make a list, and go through everything, and organize it from there.

1. Chris Rock - I thought he nailed it as host. He was entertaining, the jokes were always on point, he tackled the controversies with intelligence and even knew when to say nothing. The man was solid gold.
2. Mad Max winning 6 awards - I am actually thrilled that that happened. Yeah they were all technicals but they’re still Oscars dammit, and for the academy do pick that over a whole slew of safer choices shows that they can acknowledge the action genre, and I really hope this will lead the way to more diversity not only in who gets nominated but for the types of films as well.
3. Best Cinematography - Well I may not have liked the Revenant as much as some people, I will say the best thing about it was it’s mind blowingly awesome cinematography and truth be told it earned that award with full force.
4. Ennio Morricone for best original score - The man came out retirement to do the Hateful Eight, and he rightly won for it. I have some of his soundtracks in my collection and as much as I love John Williams, the right man won that award.
5. Best Original Song - Boy, even Joe Biden couldn’t save Lady Gaga from not winning huh? Can’t wait for the collective bitch fit over this one. Honestly though I felt all the original songs were weak this year, but at least fifty shades of grey didn’t win. Good for Sam Smith.
6. Short films - I havent seen any of them so I’ll just sum them up like so: As someone who has speech impediments, anything that brings attention to that always wins in my heart and I’m glad Stutterer did. A girl in the river changed the laws about honour killings, it deserves the goddamn nobel peace prize for that. The crew who made Bear Story seem like a good bunch, I’m happy for them.
7. Best Animated feature - Inside Out won, I’m glad it did, but honestly it’s competition stood no real chance. I like the shaun the sheep movie, but I can’t help but feel like it got nominated to round out the numbers.
8. Best Foreign and Documentary - Havent seen either, but from what I’ve heard I’m not shocked.
9. Best Screenplays - I missed spotlight, and I’m sure the straight outta compton fans will be sad they didn’t win. Big Short for best adapted doesn’t surprise me, I actually really liked the film and this was the award it rightly earned.
10. Best Supporting - Alicia Vikander had a fantastic year and Danish Girl ended it on a high note for her, she rightly deserved it. I’m really stoked Mark Rylance won for Bridge of Spies though, and while I am sad for Sylvester Stallone, I’m glad he at least got nominated.
11. Best Actress - I have to admit, I really wanted Saoirse Ronan to win, but Brie Larson really did well in Room so I will give her credit where credit is due.
12. Best Actor - This one’s going to get me some trouble. Hang on, I’m happy Leo won, he’s a great actor, and he’s deserved it for years. He did give the best performance and he really did deserve to win BUT…….i’m worried this might set a bad standard. There are some people out there who might interpret this as “he won by doing extreme things in the film”  and so instead of trying to be the best actor, they’ll try to win by going through drastic acts. It’s a stretch argument I know, but it’s a nagging thought that I hope doesn’t become a reality. On a positive note, can we all finally shut up about it on the internet now, the joke is dead, can we please move on?
13. Best Director - I’m sorry, George Miller got fucking robbed. I will stand by that until I die, also Innaritu seems more and more like a fucking asshole the more I see him. The man out talked the music cue when he clearly should’ve fucked off.
14. Best Picture - Spotlight won, the sky is blue, cows go moo, and I will probably still not see it for the longest time. My (super awesome and totally does not base his entire life around it yet still believes privately because he doesn’t push it down anyone’s throat) religious best friend is concerned the hardcore atheist circle jerk might make his life more difficult, I just think it’s the academy picking the safe fucking choice again. Mad Max should’ve won, just to troll everybody.

All in all, good show. 9/10.That’s all I got, it’s 1:34 am at the time I finished writing this. Thanks for so much for reading, and apologies to everyone’s news feed I clogged on facebook.

Until next time, I’ll see you at the movies.

Movie Review: Eddie The Eagle (2016)

Hello All,

    I know I’m posting this rather early in the day, as I actually saw Eddie The Eagle yesterday at the time of writing this. I got home rather late and truthfully just wanted to get some sleep. I can’t think of a good transition into the review so let’s just do it shall we?

Plot Summary - The movie chronicles the life of Eddie Edwards (Taron Egerton), an Olympic hopeful since childhood who decides to become a ski jumper in order to qualify for the 1988 Calgary Olympics.

Pros - Taron Egerton and Hugh Jackman are greatly cast as Eddie and Eddie’s coach Bronson Peary respectively. Taron really manages to capture Eddie’s determination and eagerness to simply compete in the olympics just for the sake of competing. The film is well shot too, as while there are some cliche moments, most of them are interestingly done enough that you really don’t mind them. The movie is just heart felt enough that you find yourself just rooting for him the entire time regardless.

Cons - That being said, there are still one or two moments that do feel cliched. There’s also a weird thing where a few times you’d watch someone go down a ski jump from a distance only to have it look pretty obviously animated.

Final Score - 9/10

I actually really liked Eddie The Eagle, like a lot. Strangely enough it’s probably one of the better sports movies I’ve seen in awhile, and I can easily recommend this to anyone.

Next: Not sure to be honest. I might either play catch up, or with London has fallen coming out next weekend I might review the first one.

Until then, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Movie Review: Gods of Egypt (2016)

Hello All,

    I have to admit the first time I saw a trailer for this film, It looked pretty bad in the special effects department. In the back of my mind though, I was kind of hoping for a good old fashioned swords and sandals epic. For anyone who doesn’t know, basically a swords and sandals movie is basically any film that takes place in the era of gods, and would generally have a hero go on an adventure fighting monsters and soldiers and so on. The most recent attempts at these were the Jai Courtney titan movies from a few years ago (I think.) So did I get my swords and sandals epic? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - When the Egyptian God of Darkness Set (Gerard Butler) forces his way into becoming king of Egypt, it’s up to the God Horus (Nikolaj Coster - Waldau) and the human thief Bek (Brenton Thwaites) to stop him.

Pros - The best actor in this film by far, is Chadwick Boseman as Thoth, the God of Wisdom. He plays the character of an all knowing god who knows that he is the smartest and blatantly acts like it. He brings genuines humour and charm to the character, and I wished he had had a bigger part in this movie. There are also parts of this movie in terms of sets and costume design that are pretty cool……

Cons - …...While most of it, especially the gods transformed states, look like complete shit. No joke, there were parts of the film that looked liked their human heads were photoshopped onto God bodies. Other times it looks like the world around hasn't rendered properly and the only really impressive moments are of the wide landscapes. Not to mention the rest of the cast is pretty damn unlikeable and not in the good way. Thwaites as Bek is annoying, Nikolaj as Horus goes through the type of story arc that all films like this have, Gerard is kind of having some fun as Set but to me he’s just doing the same thing he always does. Geoffrey Rush plays Ra and god love him he probably knew this was going to be bad cause he’s just on auto pilot. The story is dull, predictable, and really overly convoluted. Truthfully, the whole film is just boring, and the whitewashed cast (while a problem in Hollywood overall yes) is truthfully the least of this film's problems.

Final Score - 1/10

If I did half scores, It’d be a 1.5/10. I’m honestly amazed this didn’t come out in January because my god this is dog shit. If the casting controversy had not already dissuaded you from seeing it, hopefully this review will.

Next: Eddie the Eagle - Like I said, it was a coin flip kind of a day. If I can I will also try and do catch up on some films this week as well.

Until then, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Before I forget, I will be trying to do streams more often, so quick self plug for the channel here: http://www.twitch.tv/reservoir222

Movie Review: Triple 9 (2016)

Hello All,

I apologize for the time of the review, It’s been a long day and I got home late. I’m probably going to keep this one short because of that so let’s just get straight to it shall we?

Plot Summary - When a crew of criminals and corrupt cops gets corralled into pulling off a major heist, they realize that the best way to do it would be to pull a “999”, which is the police code for officer down. However when the personal lives of the men in the crew become complicated, they find that the heist, and the 999, will be harder than they imagined.

Pros - The very well cast actors are all on point. Special mention in my mind goes to both Woody Harrelson seems to be channeling his time on True Detective, and Aaron Paul as a member of the crew in turmoil over the whole situation. The heists in the film, as well as a few police raids, are well shot and intense, bringing a sense of urgency to them that’s always good to see in these kinds of films. I also really liked the look of the film, as it really captures the down and dirty work sense of the film. When the film was firing on all cylinders, it reminded a bit of my favorite film Reservoir Dogs, and in terms of the story it would probably be my first point of comparison.

Cons - Once the film gets rolling, you quickly realize it’s a different type of film than what you were expecting, which isn’t bad if you can curb your expectations, but if Drive taught me anything, that sometimes won’t work with people. While the story was enjoyable, I admit it does have its few moments you can kind of see coming. It also relies on Casey Affleck’s character relying a surprising amount of dumb luck too looking back on it. The actual heists themselves are a smaller part of the film than they lead you to believe, focusing more on the build up to them. This is where the film starts to show its flaws, as it drags on a bit too much on this aspect in an attempt to show off more of the cast’s great performances. The ending also leaves much to be desired, as despite everything that goes on it the film, it tries to leave off on a note that it doesn’t really earn. It’s not a bad ending, it’s just not as great as they clearly think it is. Norman Reedus is great in the film, but sadly he’s not in the film for a great amount of time (I blame that on the walking dead, and no I don’t watch it, and I won’t watch it.)

Final Score - 6/10

It’s an above average film, and while it’s not awful, it just doesn’t really live up to it’s full potential. I’m disappointed if I’m honest, but what we got instead is entertaining if uneven.

Next: Eddie the Eagle or Gods of Egypt - This one’s going to be a bit of a coin flip, as I will more than likely see a movie tomorrow, I just don’t know which one yet. It’ll be a spur of the moment type decision, so keep an eye out for that.

Until then, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Movie Review: Race (2016)

Hello All,

Just in time before the Thursday night preshowing, and the beginning of the new film week, I got to the last of the three films released this week and I have to admit I wasn’t sure what to think of it going in. I’m not huge on bio-pics but I am big on history, and Jesse Owens at the 1936 Olympics is an interesting story, so why has it taken so long for a film about him to be made? Is the one we have now any good? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - Starting off in 1933, the film follows Jesse Owens (Stephen James) from his beginnings as a college athlete to Olympic Medallist.

Pros - The cast is stellar for the most part. Stephen James as Jesse and Jason Sudeikis as his coach are easily doing the best here. There are a huge amount of supporting characters and most of them are good. The film is well shot too, as it manages to capture the feeling of the races, and the sense of certain places pretty well.

Cons - There’s basically three subplots in this film, and one of them is only somewhat related to the main story:

Jeremy Irons as Avery Brundage basically is only there to bring up how both the American Olympic Committee was debating boycotting the games, and the reason as to why Jesse Owens had to participate in the relay race at the Olympics. The second reason was basically needless as in the film they have a perfectly valid other reason in the film which I won’t spoil here. Jeremy Irons does fine in the role but it’s a very minor role it almost feels like a waste.

Carice van Houten as Leni Riefenstahl is only in the last third, and has the simplest story arc that basically contributed nothing to the film except to bloat it’s running time. Truthfully, I don’t know much about her, but I’ve been told that she’s an important figure in history, and from what I saw she should’ve had her own movie. Carice is fine as Leni but we learn almost nothing about her except that she’s filming the games.

Barnaby Metschurat as Joseph Goebbels is only there to remind you that Nazi’s are assholes and to serve as a needless villain, because we already know that Nazi’s are assholes. He’s also the worst Goebbels I’ve ever seen in film, looking more like an Alabama skinhead then a menacing high official.

Aside from maybe parts of Jeremy Irons story, all these characters contribute is pointless padding that pulls away from the main character of the film, Jesse Owens, in his own biographical drama because (I’m guessing) someone thought he wouldn’t be interesting enough on his own. To that I say the following: All you did, was space out what could’ve been a really good compact film, with pointless scenes and stories that overemphasized points that other parts in the film already explained perfectly well.

TL;DR You fucked up a good film with pointlessness.

Final Score - 7/10

This might be the most infuriating score I’ve given in a while, because there were points where I’d be on the edge of my seat, and then they would cut away to one of the pointless characters and I’d be taken right back out of it. I hate seeing potential squandered, this time by overstuffing what should’ve been a simply told story. We know Nazi’s are assholes, we didn’t need to be told every ten minutes.

Next: Triple 9 - This will (Hopefully) be a late night review tomorrow. If not then definitely Friday. I’m really looking forward to this one.

Until then, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Movie Review: The VVitch (2016)

Hello All,

After spending most of my weekend battling illness I am pleased to report that I triumphed through it, and am now back to my regular abnormal self. I also only got one other person sick along the way (maybe.) So to celebrate my recovery, what was my first reaction? Why to go watch a horror movie of course. One that has a particularly unique way of spelling it’s name (yes that’s how it’s spelt, I double checked.) The critics reviews have been good for it, yet the reviews I’ve heard from moviegoers has been mostly negative. So what’s my stance on this divisive film? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - In the 1630’s, the deeply religious William (Ralph Ineson) and his family are banished from their plantation due to a difference of beliefs. Several months later, they have set up a farm surrounded by forest, and have a new son named Samuel. When he disappears, the farm becomes cursed and the family begins to turn on each other as paranoia and suspicions arise.

Pros - This is probably the creepiest movie I’ve seen since The Babadook, although the film that this reminds me more of surprisingly is Prisoners. I say that because the film is now afraid to show you what’s happening, without venturing into excess gore or jump scares. It relies entirely on slow build ups and creating tension rather than just throwing scary things at you every few minutes. The cast is really good too, even the children have their fair share of scenery and screen time. The kid who plays the oldest son probably gives the best monologue in the whole film when he’s feverishly praying to God. The look of the film is good too, and the time era helps as everything just looks spooky even in the day time. The pacing is fantastic, even at 93 minutes it was tense up until the very end and I was admittedly relieved when it was over. There’s also kind of a red herring in the film that makes the ending reveal a bit odd, but still satisfying overall.

Cons - Like I said the film is a bit of a slow burner, so if you don’t have the patience for slower horror films (which is understandable) then this is not for you. They do also speak olde english throughout the film so that’s another thing that people might not like about it. I didn’t mind it myself too much although I missed the odd word here and there.

Final Score - 9/10

It’s a really intense and creepy film, but if you’re looking for more scare packed film then this might be one you want to skip. If you’re a fan of the slow burn, I cannot recommend this enough.

Next: Race - Probably Wednesday, and I might try and do Triple 9 Thursday, but that’ll be a late night review.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

(Special Sick Reviewer Edition) Movie Review: Risen (2016)

Hello All,

Side Note - Before I start with the review, I am acknowledging that I did indeed not review How to be Single yet. I ran into scheduling conflicts for something like three days in a row and now I’ll have no time in the foreseeable future to get a review done. If I can do it later down the line I will, because why not. And now, back to our regularly scheduled review:

    Someone told me that there are three things in life you never talk about: Money, Politics, and Religion. So let me get something out of the way right now - I am religiously neutral. I do not care one way or the other, I figure when I die whatever happens happens, and I try to live my life in a way where I’m only an asshole to people who deserve it (mostly.) I am merely trying to go into this as a movie critic alone, not a religious commentator. I went into this with the mindset of someone who has not heard any stories of the bible and was experiencing all this for the first time. So how did this all strike me? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - Clavius is a powerful Roman Centurion, who is charged by Pontius Pilate to investigate the rumours of a risen Jewish messiah. He is at the same time tasked with finding the body of a man named Yeshua in order to quell an uprising.

Pros - Joseph Fiennes does really well as Clavius, a roman soldier who is simply tired and wants to find peace. It also does a really good representation of the era, and it has some really good cinematography around it. The rest of the cast is solid too for the most part, and they even cast Curtis Cliff as Yeshua, probably the most accurate portrayal of Jesus I’ve seen of late in terms of ethnicity. In terms of the story, it simply plays out as a man who sees something he does not quite comprehend, and merely seeks to find answers for his satisfaction. It’s not overly preachy, no one's really a villain as it tries to cast everybody in a fair light.

Cons - The only supporting actor who gets a decent amount of screen time is Tom Felton as Lucius (hah) who works as an aide to Clavius. The film also doesn’t really set up the story that well in the beginning as you really don’t know the main conflict until you literally see it in front of you.

Final Score - 7/10

It’s a good film that I’m glad I saw. If you have no interest in seeing based on the content, there’s not much here that’ll entertain you.

Next: I kind of want to see The Witch more than Race, don’t know when though. I still feel pretty ill and so I might take a day or two to recover.

Until then, I’ll see you folks at the movies.