Thursday, 29 September 2016

Movie Review: Deepwater Horizon (2016)

Hello All,

    So it’s pretty late when I’m posting this, and I’ve had quite a tiring day. So I’m going to try and make this quick. We all know that movies based on true events can sometimes be minimally true at best. The most recent example I can think of, War Dogs, had a complete trip to baghdad sequence that was written just for the movie, but was used for most of the advertising. So how true would the adaptation of the worst oil disaster in american history be vs. how entertaining as a movie? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - Starting the day before the explosion, the film follows oil rig worker Mike Williams (Mark Wahlberg) as he witnesses first hand the explosion on the Deepwater Horizon, and his efforts to try and save the crew aboard.

Pros - The thing about the film that stands out to me the most is the dialogue. It captures the atmosphere of a close knit group of coworkers pretty well (at least from my experience.) The acting is great as well, and the cast is solid. The action scenes are great too, as it never feels exploitative, and more so it doesn’t follow just Wahlberg’s character. It does take time to show some of the heroic efforts of other on the rig as well. It’s well shot, the pacing is good, and overall it’s an intense film.

Cons - The thing about these types of films that always bug the ever loving shit out of me, will be the way they paint the villains as basic cartoon villains. It’s just the way these guys act like they’re a couple of moments away from setting kittens on fire for fun the way they act, and it always drive me mad. You can have villains, without the need to make them so blatantly obvious that they’re the villains. I’m waiting for the days when they villains walk in, turn and look at the camera and go, “Hi, I will be your villain for the evening.” I would also point out the few super obvious metaphors as well throughout the film.

Final Score - 9/10

Honestly though, it’s a fantastic film that I definitely recommend. Annoying villains aside, it’s a pretty solid story, as they even go so far as to show you the real people involved at the end. I would definitely see this asap.

Next: Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children - This one is being offered is D-BOX (motion moving seats,) this will be interesting.

Links:

Last Review is Here: The last film got the first above 7 score this month. Find out what that is here.

Twitter Account is Here: You’ll get notices when the reviews are live as soon as I post them, plus any trailers, movie news, or updates on when I stream on Twitch. I’m always looking for new followers, and with more followers means more ways for you guys to contribute.

NEW!!! Suggestion Box is Here: Are you sick of gaps in my posts? Why not suggest a film or film series for me to watch? Suggestions will be completed in order received, and if you’d like to leave your name for a suggestion credit and anything you’d like me to promote (within reason) I’d be happy to do that too. This suggestion box will be a permanent fixture of the blog, as again I’d love any and all help you guys want to offer.

Twitch Channel is Here: I’ll admit, I don’t quite have a regular streaming schedule worked out, but if you follow either the Twitter account or the channel directly you will be notified whenever I go live.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Tuesday, 27 September 2016

Movie Review: Storks (2016) Plus Short Film The Master.



Hello All,

    Sorry this took a bit, it’s been a busy couple of days. So, looking over my review scores on my master list for this month, I realize I have not given any movies for September anything higher than a 7/10. So going into this, I didn’t really have high hopes about it. Sure it was made by the same guys who did the Lego Movie, but how good could a movie about such an old idea be made relevant and interesting again in the modern era? We’ll find out shortly, but first short movie detour.

The Master Short Film Review

Plot Summary - The short film begins with The Master preparing his big entrance into the short, however, his credit sequence keeps getting interrupted by an unexpected rival: his chicken. The ii must then battle for ninja master dominance.

Pros - It’s actually pretty creative with the setup as the film is basically a five minute long title fight. The Lego animation is used to full effect and it’s pretty varied and active for a short amount of time. The narration is also pretty great as well.

Cons - It can feel really repetitive really fast.

Final Score - 9/10

It’s quite funny, and it doesn’t even feel like five minutes. It’s a great short and I definitely enjoyed it.

Storks Review

Plot Summary - After Storks have started delivering packages instead of babies, the best delivery stork Junior (Andy Samberg) is offered a promotion to become the boss, but only if he can fire the human orphan Tulip (Katie Crown). After instead moving her to the letter department, she accidentally makes a new baby for delivery. Deciding not to risk his promotion, Junior enlists Tulip to help deliver the baby.

Pros - The voice cast is pretty solid, as they manage to capture their characters perfectly. The story moves along at pretty good pace, and the humour for the most part is pretty great. It also has probably one of the funniest fight scenes I’ve seen all year.

Cons - Andy Samberg isn’t terrible as Junior, it’s just very clearly his own voice. There’s also a pigeon character whose extremely annoying, and I hate him. Some of the jokes drag out way too long.

Final Score - 8/10

Truthfully, It’s a lot better than I expected. It’s not the greatest kid’s film I’ve ever seen, but it’s definitely better than average.

Next - Deepwater Horizon, but I’m going to try and get the first suggestion box review done.

Links:

Last Review is Here: The last review was for a remake that were not supposed to call a remake. You can read that here!

Twitter Account is Here: You’ll get notices when the reviews are live as soon as I post them, plus any trailers, movie news, or updates on when I stream on Twitch. I’m always looking for new followers, and with more followers means more ways for you guys to contribute.

NEW!!! Suggestion Box is Here: Are you sick of gaps in my posts? Why not suggest a film or film series for me to watch? Suggestions will be completed in order received, and if you’d like to leave your name for a suggestion credit and anything you’d like me to promote (within reason) I’d be happy to do that too. This suggestion box will be a permanent fixture of the blog, as again I’d love any and all help you guys want to offer.

Twitch Channel is Here: I’ll admit, I don’t quite have a regular streaming schedule worked out, but if you follow either the Twitter account or the channel directly you will be notified whenever I go live.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Friday, 23 September 2016

Movie Review: The Magnificent Seven (2016)


Hello All,
    
 Sorry for the delay on this one, familial matters arose. So something kind of funny has been happening with the marketing with this film. They’ve been trying to pass it of as an adaptation of a 1954 Japanese film called Seven Samurai, which is partially true. There is indeed a film called The Magnificent Seven that was made as an adaptation of Seven Samurai…….in 1960. This new version, is actually a remake, of that adaptation. Try explaining that one to people. So in amongst this confusion though, is the new film any good? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - When the mining town of rose creek comes under siege from a corrupt industrialist, Emma Cullen (Haley Bennett) rides off to find help. She comes across bounty hunter Sam Chisolm (Denzel Washington) who then helps to recruit six others to help them save the town.

Pros - The main cast is stellar in this, as they each manage to get their own moments in the film. The film is well shot, and the action scenes are amazingly done. The story moves along at a nice pace, and you don’t get lost in all the chaos.

Cons - The side characters are few and far between, as the film weirdly keeps cutting away to people we see many once or twice throughout. The main character development, while interesting, is usually brief, and character arcs are minimal. It feels at times like a very surface level style western, and while not the worst thing ever, can leave you wanting a bit more.

Final Score - 6/10

It’s a slightly above average western, and I would honestly say see it when you can. The way this year has been going film wise, I’d say it’ll be sooner rather than later.

Next: Storks - Probably Monday I’d say for this one. I’ll also try and fill the remaining days with other things if I can.

Links:

Last Review is Here: Last review was a double review. A 2 for 1 review which you can read here.

Twitter Account is Here: You’ll get notices when the reviews are live as soon as I post them, plus any trailers, movie news, or updates on when I stream on Twitch. I’m always looking for new followers, and with more followers means more ways for you guys to contribute.

NEW!!! Suggestion Box is Here: Are you sick of gaps in my posts? Why not suggest a film or film series for me to watch? Suggestions will be completed in order received, and if you’d like to leave your name for a suggestion credit and anything you’d like me to promote (within reason) I’d be happy to do that too. This suggestion box will be a permanent fixture of the blog, as again I’d love any and all help you guys want to offer.

Twitch Channel is Here: I’ll admit, I don’t quite have a regular streaming schedule worked out, but if you follow either the Twitter account or the channel directly you will be notified whenever I go live.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Friday, 16 September 2016

Double Movie Review: Snowden & Blair Witch (2016)

Newest Review is LIVE!!! We got a double review going on today folks!

Hello All,

    Okay, so, even though this is a double review, I do want to address something about Edward Snowden. The reason for that is because I want to clear the air about how I personally feel about the man before I get into the review, that way I can avoid the accusations of bias in the review. Okay? Okay.

I honestly, and truly think, that Edward Snowden is not this great hero that everyone makes him out to be.

I understand that what he did was important, and it brought to light a system that was in place that was unjust in its guilty until proven innocent mentality. I honestly believe the way he did it though was incorrect, and that he had the potential to cause great harm if he had done this incorrectly. Though the methodology the NSA was using was highly incorrect, exposing things like could’ve potentially allowed those who want to cause harm to get themselves farther out of reach.

I also believe that the head of the NSA lying to congress was the wrong move as well, and while Snowden and other whistleblowers will tell you that internal change is hard, I honestly think there could’ve been ways to achieve that perhaps Mr. Snowden had not considered.

I have family that work for the government in capacities similar to that of Mr. Snowden, and if anything they had done had ever been exposed in a similar fashion, no matter how unsavoury the public might see it, I would be horrified for the safety of said family. There are sometimes things we have to do in order to keep the world moving, and not all of them need to be seen in the daylight.

I do not believe Mr. Snowden should be put to death however, I want quite the opposite. I believe the man should have the espionage charges dropped, be allowed to come home, but have to face a fair and public trial for the way he did it. I do think he wasn’t trying to be harmful, but I will forever say his method of doing it was incorrect. I do not think the man deserves a full pardon, as that has the potential to set a bad precedent.

I apologize for the rant, but I wanted to present my own opinion of the man himself as clearly as I could, so that when I talk about the movie, there would be no personal bias left for me to judge it with.

That being said, let’s begin with the Snowden review shall we?

Plot Summary - The film follows the life of Edward Snowden (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) from 2007 to 2013, as he begins working for classified sections of the United States Government, leading up until the time when he leaked thousands of classified documents to the press.

Pros - I like the way Oliver Stone tells the story. Instead of a straightforward narrative, It’s told primarily in flashbacks from Snowden himself as they begin to start the leaking process. It’s covers a side to the man’s life that most people have probably never considered as well, which makes the story fell all the more personal. The supporting cast is stellar for the varied amounts of time they have, and the film for the most part is a greatly shot film also.

Cons - Snowden himself however is basically presented as a patron saint who can do no wrong. While his opinions do change throughout the film, his personality never really seems to change along with it aside from some massively hinted at paranoia which he barely shows. Shailene Woodley as his girlfriend gets hardly anything to do in the film. She barely even acts as his moral compass, which the film also tries to imply. The interactions between them are repetitive and are basically the same conversation over and over again, as is Edward’s reasoning for going back and forth between working and not working for the government. The film also barely touches on what exactly the government was doing aside from some barely surface level stuff. Hell at one point one of the antagonists is wearing a black hat and trenchcoat like a fucking villain.

Final Score - 5/10

I’ll summarize the score like this: If you want to know more about the man behind the mission, see the film. If you want to know more about what he did, I’d recommend Citizenfour, the actual documentary that captures Snowden himself over the days of the revelation progress.

Okay, now with that out of the way, let’s get to the next review.

Blair Witch Review Starts Here

Plot Summary - After a new clip of what could be his sister appears on the internet, James Donahue (James Allen McCune) decides to go to the forest where she disappeared years earlier to try and find her. Accompanied by his friends, including filmmaker Lisa (Callie Hernandez), and the uploader of the new video, they head into the Black Hills Woods, unaware of the danger that awaits them.

Pros - The film is creepy as hell, as the cast does a great job with the material given to them and just run away with it. The imagery is creepy, the film is well paced, and even has quite a few takes on some of the originals ideas, that they change in very interesting ways.

Cons - The ending is where this film begins to lose me, as it basically drags on way too long to the point where you know what’s going to happen and you’re just waiting for it to happen. There’s also quite a few repeat story points where it makes it feel almost like a loose retelling of sorts. They also try and have some weird time loop thing hinted at near the end which to me just makes no sense, and sort of undoes some of the logic of the film.

Side Note: I saw the film in DBOX, which are basically seat that shake and move with the movie. I don’t recommend it for this film, as it happens so few and far between that it actually pulled me massively out of the movie at one point when my seat moved.

Final Score - 7/10

I still like the original more, but to me this is the solid follow up we’ve been waiting for. Not the greatest, but it’s a solid 86 minutes, even if  it doesn’t quite stick the landing.

Next - ……...I guess I’ll try to finish that suggestion box project I’ve been hinting at. I actually have some time off work so I’ll try and dig at it tomorrow. I might also try and tackle Bridget Jones but I know jack shit about the previous films so.

Links:

Last Review is Here: I watched a foreign kids film. What could possibly go wrong there? Find out here.

Twitter Account is Here: You’ll get notices when the reviews are live as soon as I post them, plus any trailers, movie news, or updates on when I stream on Twitch. I’m always looking for new followers, and with more followers means more ways for you guys to contribute.

NEW!!! Suggestion Box is Here: Are you sick of gaps in my posts? Why not suggest a film or film series for me to watch? Suggestions will be completed in order received, and if you’d like to leave your name for a suggestion credit and anything you’d like me to promote (within reason) I’d be happy to do that too. This suggestion box will be a permanent fixture of the blog, as again I’d love any and all help you guys want to offer.

Twitch Channel is Here: I’ll admit, I don’t quite have a regular streaming schedule worked out, but if you follow either the Twitter account or the channel directly you will be notified whenever I go live.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Wednesday, 14 September 2016

Movie Review: The Wild Life (Robinson Crusoe) (2016)

Newest Review is LIVE!!! It’s back to the regular reviews for me, I promise.

Hello All,

    So for anyone who follows me on Twitter (link down below) might have seen that recently I went on a bit of rant involving the movie and it’s name. I don’t really want to repeat myself about it, so check the twitter if you want to know more. Honestly though, after the last couple of movies, which spoiler alert barely counted as a full review between them, I decided to play catch up and get wild life out of the way. Was it worth it? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - When Robinson Crusoe lands on an uncharted island, the local animals decide to befriend him in order to help him survive.

Pros - The animation is not half bad actually. It’s definitely clean looking if not all that original. It manages a handful of decent jokes as well, and it even has the odd touches of tragedy here and there.

Cons - There’s non-stop narration throughout from one of the secondary animals and it’s just unneeded, as it mostly just describes what’s happening on the screen. The majority of the jokes(?) fall flat, and the characters are one dimensional and lazily written. For an 86 minute long movie, they still somehow managed to run out of time, and had to half ass a happy ending literally during the credits. They even introduce 2 characters during the credits, and don’t even give them names. They literally get 2 still images and that’s it.

Final Score - 2/10

Despite all this, while it’s not the worse kids movie I’ve seen, I still don’t recommend it. It’s just not interesting enough to be worth your time.

Next: Snowden - Which I’m sure won’t be controversial in anyway whatsoever.

Links:

Last Review is Here: Last movie was pretty bad. Read that here.

Twitter Account is Here: You’ll get notices when the reviews are live as soon as I post them, plus any trailers, movie news, or updates on when I stream on Twitch. I’m always looking for new followers, and with more followers means more ways for you guys to contribute.

NEW!!! Suggestion Box is Here: Are you sick of gaps in my posts? Why not suggest a film or film series for me to watch? Suggestions will be completed in order received, and if you’d like to leave your name for a suggestion credit and anything you’d like me to promote (within reason) I’d be happy to do that too. This suggestion box will be a permanent fixture of the blog, as again I’d love any and all help you guys want to offer.

Twitch Channel is Here: I’ll admit, I don’t quite have a regular streaming schedule worked out, but if you follow either the Twitter account or the channel directly you will be notified whenever I go live.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Tuesday, 13 September 2016

Movie Review: When The Bough Breaks (2016)

Newest Review is LIVE!!! Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m apologizing for this one now.

Hello All,

    Oh boy, this is a doozy. This movie has a 0% on rotten tomatoes. Do you know how hard it is for a movie on rotten tomatoes to even stay at 0%? So when I went to go see it, I was honestly expecting something truly amazingly bad, I was hoping for just pure entertainment. People, what I got, made me do something that I have not done in quite some time.

I left the theatre before the movie was over.

35 minutes into this……...fucking movie…….I had to leave. It was the third and final time that I had left the theatre in 35 minutes, and I got my refund, and did not go back in.

Fuck this movie.

Cons:
  1. Everyone in the movie was clearly bored being there, so none of them express any proper emotions.
  2. Except for the fiancee of the surrogate who was taking the piss and just hamming it up.
  3. There’s a scene where it shows you the surrogate being injected with the embryo, and you actually watch the screen as it goes in and WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO SEE THAT?
  4. The dialogue is a joke. It’s either all exposition, or terrible lines read terribly, and it just feels hollow.
  5. The pacing is non existent, as it just cuts around with no rhyme or reason, with no sense of time or story progression
  6. Nobody acts logically in this movie.
  7. The surrogate is 21, but she acts like, and gets treated like a 16 year old.
  8. The exact line, during the final scene I watched, that made me leave, was during the scene where she gets the husband to feel the baby inside, during which she says “You can already feel my TUMMY starting to change.” Tummy is a word a child uses, f*ck this movie.

Folks, I only did what I’m about to do review wise once before for Neighbours. This film is officially DISQUALIFIED from review, because in order for me to able to give it a proper rating, I’d have to finish watching it, and I’d rather pour gasoline in my eyes.

Oh, and if anyone writes this in the suggestion box like they did Neighbours 2, I’m going to skip it because f*ck you.

Next: The Wildlife, and holy shit am I actually looking forward to it now after seeing this trainwreck.

Skip this movie, I’m dead serious, It’s not worth your time or effort.

Links:

Last Review is Here: This one I was able to watch all the way through. Find out what that movie is here!!!

Twitter Account is Here: You’ll get notices when the reviews are live as soon as I post them, plus any trailers, movie news, or updates on when I stream on Twitch. I’m always looking for new followers, and with more followers means more ways for you guys to contribute.

NEW!!! Suggestion Box is Here: Are you sick of gaps in my posts? Why not suggest a film or film series for me to watch? Suggestions will be completed in order received, and if you’d like to leave your name for a suggestion credit and anything you’d like me to promote (within reason) I’d be happy to do that too. This suggestion box will be a permanent fixture of the blog, as again I’d love any and all help you guys want to offer.

Twitch Channel is Here: I’ll admit, I don’t quite have a regular streaming schedule worked out, but if you follow either the Twitter account or the channel directly you will be notified whenever I go live.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at (hopefully) better movies.

Thursday, 8 September 2016

Movie Review: Sully (2016)

Newest Review is LIVE!!! I really can’t think of something witty for this one.

Hello All,

    Sorry for lateness on this one. It’s a mixture of a weird day, and I also got held up on twitter with a bit of a rant. Anyways, back on topic, do you remember that the miracle on the hudson happened in 2009? Yeah, neither did I. I also honestly thought that the Denzel Washington movie Flight was inspired by it. Truthfully for me, this was a blip for me on the cultural landscape. So the fact that they were going to make a movie about it, to me at least, brought up a lot of curiosity in the sense of what they were going to do with it. So what did we get? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - On January 15 2009, United Airways Flight 1549 crash landed in the Hudson river in New York. The film follows captain Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger (Tom Hanks) and the subsequent investigation into what happened on that fateful day.

Pros - The cast is great, and the story is both well told and well paced. It’s a good looking film, and it does a lot to focus the story more on everyone involved in the accident and the following investigations.

Cons - This is really hard to word properly, but the thing, for me at least, this is really the type of film that is really worth seeing only once. With a film like this, one of the things to think about is the longevity of its popularity, and while there will be people who might really like this film (to which I say good on you, glad you like it) for me I can’t really picture myself going out of my way to see it again anytime soon.

Final Score - 7/10

It’s certainly a film worth watching, but more than once I leave it up to you.

Next: I will mostly likely catch up on Light Between Oceans, because the rest of the films this week do not look stellar…….

Links:

Last Review is Here: The last review was for a very disappointing movie. You can read that here.

Twitter Account is Here: You’ll get notices when the reviews are live as soon as I post them, plus any trailers, movie news, or updates on when I stream on Twitch. I’m always looking for new followers, and with more followers means more ways for you guys to contribute.

NEW!!! Suggestion Box is Here: Are you sick of gaps in my posts? Why not suggest a film or film series for me to watch? Suggestions will be completed in order received, and if you’d like to leave your name for a suggestion credit and anything you’d like me to promote (within reason) I’d be happy to do that too. This suggestion box will be a permanent fixture of the blog, as again I’d love any and all help you guys want to offer.

Twitch Channel is Here: I’ll admit, I don’t quite have a regular streaming schedule worked out, but if you follow either the Twitter account or the channel directly you will be notified whenever I go live.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.