Movie Review: The Legend of Tarzan (2016)

Newest Review is LIVE!!! Let's go ape with the King of the Jungle.

Hello All,

    As we start getting into the heart of the summer, this is usually the time of the year when we see all the eye popping, big budget, blockbuster movies. This is probably stating something you all know, but for film buffs there’s something about this time of year when we get all sorts of things that just seem to fly out of almost thin air appear on the big screen. So who would've thought that amongst these films, would be a continuation of the Tarzan story from (insert previous film here.) Yeah, it’s not too specific on that part of it, I think it’s just trying to bank on the fact that most people know at least a bit of the story of Tarzan. So, with that setup so to speak, how does this continuation fair? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - In the late 1880’s, the man once known as Tarzan (Alexander Skarsgard) now lives in Victorian London with his wife Jane (Margot Robbie) at his side. When he gets invited back to the Congo jungles where he grew up as a trade emissary, he falls into a scheme helmed by Captain Leon Rom (Christoph Waltz) that sees him go through the jungles he once called home.

Pros - The cast is phenomenal in this. Skarsgard plays Tarzan as this, complicated, conflicted man just trying to save the woman he loves no matter what. Margot plays Jane equally as well, as she doesn’t do the typical ‘damsel in distress routine’ we’ve seen a million times before. Samuel L. Jackson plays an american emissary who came along with Tarzan, and he honestly just makes every scene he’s in better. Christoph Waltz is an amazing villain as always, as you can feel his sinisterness in every move he makes. When the story gets Tarzan in the jungle doing his thing, it’s just really awesome to see as well, and it makes for some really awesome action sequences as well.

Cons - The story itself is the weakest part of the film. The easiest way to describe it (hopefully) is that it doesn’t feel like a Tarzan story, it feels more like a story that Tarzan just happens to be in. As much as I like Samuel Jackson in the film, I feel like his character was just there so that Tarzan had somehow to show his abilities off to. The scenes where Tarzan does his Tarzan thing feel like padding for the most part, as awesome as they are. The main story itself feels routine, as it just kind of rolls along in between everything else.

Final Score - 6/10 with a Lower Score Seal of Approval.

If the plot had felt more like a Tarzan film, it could’ve been a lot higher, but I cannot deny that I enjoyed what works in the film a lot. If they did a sequel with this cast, and had it involve Tarzan directly, I’d totally go and watch that.

Next - BFG

Yeah, so I never saw the second Purge movie. I might watch that one first (won’t review it because I just don’t feel it for that one personally.) In the meantime, BFG.

The 200th review is coming up, now is your chance to suggest a film genre for me to include as part of that review. That link can be found by clicking here.

Links:

Last Review is Here: Previously, I reviewed a movie based on a true story. You can read that if you follow this link.

Twitter Account is Here: You’ll get notices when the reviews are live as soon as I post them, plus any trailers, movie news, or updates on when I stream on Twitch. I’m always looking for new followers, and with more followers means more ways for you guys to contribute.

NEW!!! Suggestion Box is Here: Are you sick of gaps in my posts? Why not suggest a film or film series for me to watch? Suggestions will be completed in order received, and if you’d like to leave your name for a suggestion credit and anything you’d like me to promote (within reason) I’d be happy to do that too. This suggestion box will be a permanent fixture of the blog, as again I’d love any and all help you guys want to offer.

Twitch Channel is Here: I’ll admit, I don’t quite have a regular streaming schedule worked out, but if you follow either the Twitter account or the channel directly you will be notified whenever I go live.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Movie Review: Free State of Jones (2016)

Newest Review is LIVE!!! Lets get a little bit historical shall we?

Hello All,

Forgive the lateness of the review, It’s been a long week and this was the best time for me to finally getting around to seeing this one. Truthfully it was the reviews more than anything that had me fascinated about this one. When they started rolling in, I think it started out at roughly 17% on rotten tomatoes. It’s higher now, but why so low still? Was it because they were releasing a civil war drama during the summer, a season more known for big blockbusters? Well, like the cat killed by curiosity, I had to go investigate. Since I’m here typing this, I clearly survived, but by how much? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - Based on a true story, the film follows Newton Knight (Matthew McConaughey) from his desertion of the confederate forces during the civil war, to his eventual leadership of a rebellion of farmers, deserters, and slaves, who simply want peace.

Pros - The thing about this film that stands out the most for me, is probably just how brutally honest it depicts the war and the era they were living in. The cast is pretty stellar as well, especially McConaughey. The story I think manages to cover a huge amount of time in a way where nothing feels rushed or forced, while also not feeling overstretched or overly long. There's a good amount of time spent on the development of side characters as well.

Cons - The biggest thing is that there’s four or five segments dedicated to depicting the trial of one of Newton's descendants, while interesting, is so spaced out and does little to contribute to the story, that at one point I forgot they were still doing them. There’s also a few moments that you can see coming in these movies. If you’re not a history buff, then you might find this film not all that interesting to watch.

Final Score - 8/10

Honestly, I really enjoyed this film, although I will still acknowledge the rather poor release scheduling of it.

Next - I actually don’t have that planned out yet. So either Tarzan or BFG.

I recently announced the topic of my upcoming 200th blog post: My favourite genre films.

Only I don’t know what genres to choose from, so I’d love to hear your suggestions here: http://freesuggestionbox.com/pub/sesmdjm

Links:

Last Review is Here: I did a double review last time, 2 for the price of 1 on a free blog site. Read that here!

Twitter Account is Here: You’ll get notices when the reviews are live as soon as I post them, plus any trailers, movie news, or updates on when I stream on Twitch. I’m always looking for new followers, and with more followers means more ways for you guys to contribute.

NEW!!! Suggestion Box is Here: Are you sick of gaps in my posts? Why not suggest a film or film series for me to watch? Suggestions will be completed in order received, and if you’d like to leave your name for a suggestion credit and anything you’d like me to promote (within reason) I’d be happy to do that too. This suggestion box will be a permanent fixture of the blog, as again I’d love any and all help you guys want to offer.

Twitch Channel is Here: I’ll admit, I don’t quite have a regular streaming schedule worked out, but if you follow either the Twitter account or the channel directly you will be notified whenever I go live.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Movie Review: The Neon Demon (2016) & Independence Day:Resurgence (2016)

Newest Review is LIVE!!! Yay double

Hello All,

    Man that was a really long title. It fits because getting both of these done was a really long day. This was another one of those instances where I had to travel across the city to see these, and since I have 2 of these to get through, let’s just get to them shall we?

The Neon Demon Review

Plot Summary - Small town girl Jesse (Elle Fanning) has just moved to Los Angeles to pursue her dream of becoming a model. After meeting a makeup artist named Ruby (Jena Malone), and her model friends Sarah (Abbey Lee) and Gigi (Bella Heathcote), she gets signed to a prominent agency, and stars rising through the modelling world, making her a target for the murderous and dangerous amongst those in the industry she works in.

Pros - The movie is very visually impressive, as it manages to greatly switch between being very beautiful in one scene, and very intensely harsh in the next. It serves to compliment the overall atmosphere as the film manages to maintain this overall level of just sheer terror throughout. There is so much creepy imagery in this film as well that truthfully, I think it might be one of the creepier films I’ve seen this year. The cast also do a really good job as well, especially Elle who shows the transformation of her character with the right amount of everything needed.

Cons - I will admit that the rest of the characters can be kind of one dimensional at times, although I guess it serves the overall harshness of the world they’re in. The story has it’s cliche moments, and the plot is bare bones. It’s basically an arthouse film in terms of plot and style, so if you’re not a fan of the genre, this will bore you to tears if creepy imagery doesn’t do it for you.

Final Score - 8/10

I’ll admit, I have a soft spot for good looking films. I think it’s the mixture of that, and the rather intense presence the film has is more than enough for a recommendation.

Independence Day: Resurgence

Plot Summary - 20 Years after the first invasion, earth has taken the alien technology and has progressed itself in preparation for any potential return. When that fear becomes a reality, the remaining original, and a new band of soldiers and scientists, must once again unite to take out the alien threat.

Pros - I will admit, there are a few cool scenes in the film. The designs of the ships, and the aliens, and all the sci fi stuff is pretty neat to see.

Cons - Aside from that, this movie is boring. Honestly, the rest of this film couldn’t give a shit about you, me, itself, or common decency. There are too many goddamn characters, and only ii of them are interesting. Most of the movie feels like a retelling of the first one, and what’s new is overstuffed nonsense. The ending, takes forever, because they were trying to throw every conceivable ending in there, in a move I think was to stuff this movie’s running time past barely two hours. It also has the fucking nerve to end on a sequel bait line, and fuck you if that ever happens.

Final Score - 1/10

This movie is pointless. If you liked the first one, you might like this one. I was bored from the get go and was just frustrated until it was over. Fuck this movie.

Next - Free State of Jones. The movie with the lowest rotten tomatoes score of this weekend’s releases. Yay……..

So, before I post the links, I would like to announce the topic for the upcoming 200th blog post.

And it is: My Favourite Genre Films!

Now the question is, which genres?

That’s where you guys come in. I want to know what genre of films you guys would like me to cover for it.

That’s why I have a new suggestion box for that here http://freesuggestionbox.com/pub/sesmdjm

I will be taking suggestions until review number 199, so don’t wait.

Links:

Last Review is Here: (Talk about last review, don’t say name.)

Twitter Account is Here: You’ll get notices when the reviews are live as soon as I post them, plus any trailers, movie news, or updates on when I stream on Twitch. I’m always looking for new followers, and with more followers means more ways for you guys to contribute.

NEW!!! Suggestion Box is Here: Are you sick of gaps in my posts? Why not suggest a film or film series for me to watch? Suggestions will be completed in order received, and if you’d like to leave your name for a suggestion credit and anything you’d like me to promote (within reason) I’d be happy to do that too. This suggestion box will be a permanent fixture of the blog, as again I’d love any and all help you guys want to offer.

Twitch Channel is Here: I’ll admit, I don’t quite have a regular streaming schedule worked out, but if you follow either the Twitter account or the channel directly you will be notified whenever I go live.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Movie Review: The Shallows (2016)

Newest Review is LIVE!!! Let's hope this doesn't drag us into the deep end

Hello All,

    Before we begin, I’ve decided to jump to the suggestion box for the next batch of alternate reviews. I will still be doing the bad movies I love ones when I feel it’s right, and I’ll still do the ones from the poll first. Also, I apologize for not posting the Million Ways to Die in the West review. I was beginning to write it when I learned about Anton Yelchin and quite truthfully it really bummed my whole mood. I had just seen him in Green Room recently, and honestly thought he was really good in it. I actually looked through his filmography, and realized he had been in some really great films I’d seen in the past as well. I guess what I’m trying to say is, as someone who is only a few years younger than him, it’s always kind of jarring to see something like this happen, and it sort of just brings you down knowing that you’re not as invincible as you’d like to think you are. I think fans of his can take comfort knowing that he leaves behind a great legacy of films, and that he will still be loved by not only those who knew him personally, but by the fans of the work he left behind. R.I.P Anton Yelchin, you’ve earned it man.

Sorry to start this off on a bum note, I just really wanted to get that off of my chest.

    So there’s three films coming out this week. The first being a sequel to a pretty entertaining (if slightly dumb) sci fi film. The second being an adaptation of an interesting true story from a fascinating part of american history, and the third being a film about a surfer getting trapped on a rock by a shark. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I saw the third one. Who says I don’t have my priorities in order? So how good was this third option? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - When medical student Nancy Adams (Blake Lively) decides to surf at a beach one visited by her late mother, she ends up swimming out alone into the water. When a shark lurking nearby spots her, it becomes a battle of wills as she finds herself stranded on a rock 200 yards from shore.

Pros - Blake Lively does pretty good with the material she’s given. The film also has some really good cinematography and even manages a couple of decent scares.

Cons - The first thirty minutes of the movie is mostly driving, shots of people surfing, and five minutes of exposition via phone call and clunky dialogue. Do you know what we learn about the character in this time? That’s she’s a med student on a sabbatical, and that her mother died of cancer. That’s it. The shark’s strength is also inconsistent as fuck. When she gets attacked at first, she gets a gash on her leg after a good ten second attack and a lot of blood loss. The second person that gets attacked by the shark? Ripped in literal fucking half. After the same amount of time. Later on, he takes a huge bite out of a metal fucking buoy floating in the water. The shark also looks fake as shit whenever you see his whole body up close, like it floated over to this movie from fucking sharknado. I will say, that for the majority of this movie, I thought it was just okay, but then that fucking ending. Without spoiling it, it jumps from being a suspense film, to a fucking ridiculous as hell action scene (which somehow also has a scene of water being caught on fire, don’t ask me how), to a corny as fuck, cookie cutter, absolutely no risk absolutely whatso - goddamn - ever final scene.

Final Score - 3/10

If it hadn’t been for that stupid fucking ending, it would’ve been a 5. That was like a one two punch of bad filmmaking right in a row.

Next - Either Neon Demon, Independence Day Resurgence, or both. I’ve been feeling kind of sick all day, so I just want to see how I feel tomorrow before I commit.

Links:

Last Review is Here: Wanna read about another film involving water bound creatures? You can do that here.

Twitter Account is Here: You’ll get notices when the reviews are live as soon as I post them, plus any trailers, movie news, or updates on when I stream on Twitch. I’m always looking for new followers, and with more followers means more ways for you guys to contribute.

NEW!!! Suggestion Box is Here: Are you sick of gaps in my posts? Why not suggest a film or film series for me to watch? Suggestions will be completed in order received, and if you’d like to leave your name for a suggestion credit and anything you’d like me to promote (within reason) I’d be happy to do that too. This suggestion box will be a permanent fixture of the blog, as again I’d love any and all help you guys want to offer.

Twitch Channel is Here: I’ll admit, I don’t quite have a regular streaming schedule worked out, but if you follow either the Twitter account or the channel directly you will be notified whenever I go live.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Movie Review: Finding Dory (2016) Plus bonus Short Film Piper

Newest Review is LIVE!!! Sorry about the wait.

Hello All,

    Before we get into it, I have a quick confession to make: I’m not a big Finding Nemo fan. Now, that’s not to say that the film is bad. In fact I did enjoy it the last time I watched it, it’s just that the last time was over ten years ago. Truth be told I thought that it was a pretty good standalone film, and it’s never really popped up on my radar since. Sure when I heard this was being made I thought about rewatching the first one, but I just never got around to it. Luckily though, through a series of strange events, I actually managed to see Finding Dory earlier than I had originally planned. While we’re here we are also going to discuss the short film Piper that plays right before it as well. Let’s get to it shall we?

Piper Review

Plot Summary - A young Sandpiper chick learns to conquer their fears of the world in order to  survive.

Since this is a short film, I really won’t do pros and cons. Instead I’ll simply say that the animation is stunning, and the film does well at propelling the narrative through both movements of the characters and the great, if a touch underwhelming, musical score.

Final Score - 9/10

It’s not Paperman good, but it’s a nice little addition before the main feature.

Finding Dory Review

Plot Summary - One year after the events of the first film, Dory (Ellen DeGeneres) is now living with Marlin (Albert Brooks) and Nemo (Hayden Rolance). On a field trip with Nemo’s class, Dory starts to remember about her family, who she lost as a child long ago, and sets out to try and find them.

Pros - The cast is quite fantastic actually. DeGeneres as Dory manages to carry the film perfectly, especially since it is a really well balanced story. It has a really nice blend of drama, and humour, as it manages to also keep a pretty good pace story wise. It even manages quite a bit of suspense, as we watch both Dory trying to find her parents, and Marlin and Nemo trying to find Dory. The new characters are all good additions, as no one feels out of place or jammed in. The animation is a great mix of both newer touches, while keeping it looking much like the original (as best as I can recall.) I will also admit, it probably has one of the funniest sequences I’ve seen in a film in quite some time.

Cons - There’s a scene early on where it feels Marlin, who wasn’t in the scene earlier, sort of appears out of nowhere, and I’m not sure if they ever explained how he got there. I know it’s a nitpick but it does legitimately bug the shit out of me. Oh, and also there’s a couple of cliche moments, but they’re done interestingly enough that it’s not too typical.

Final Score - 10/10

I thought about giving it a 9, but honestly that one scene still has me laughing, and yeah it is another great Pixar film. Oh, stay through all the credits as well, trust me.

Next - A Million Ways to Die in the West.

Yes folks, I’m going to try and work my way through the backlog of alternative reviews. Mostly because I’m exhausted, and there’s not much else playing around here interests me. Plus, I want to start doing Suggestion Box reviews soon, so I’m getting the last of the bad films poll finished first.

Links:

Last Review is Here: I posted the last one late at night, was it worth staying up that late? Find out here!

Twitter Account is Here: You’ll get notices when the reviews are live as soon as I post them, plus any trailers, movie news, or updates on when I stream on Twitch. I’m always looking for new followers, and with more followers means more ways for you guys to contribute.

NEW!!! Suggestion Box is Here: Are you sick of gaps in my posts? Why not suggest a film or film series for me to watch? Suggestions will be completed in order received, and if you’d like to leave your name for a suggestion credit and anything you’d like me to promote (within reason) I’d be happy to do that too. This suggestion box will be a permanent fixture of the blog, as again I’d love any and all help you guys want to offer.

Twitch Channel is Here: I’ll admit, I don’t quite have a regular streaming schedule worked out, but if you follow either the Twitter account or the channel directly you will be notified whenever I go live.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Movie Review: Central Intelligence (2016)

Newest Review is LIVE!!! Yes I saw this before I saw Finding Dory.

Hello All,

    Like the title says, yes I saw this before Finding Dory. I unfortunately could not make it to the late showing in time, but hey at least this is better than nothing. Personally, I’ve been missing Spy comedies. Last year’s Spy was surprisingly good, and lord knows we haven’t gotten a new Austin Powers movie in forever, so when the trailer for Central Intelligence started to grow on me I was hopeful for getting that feeling back. So how was this comedic outing with the little Hart and the big Johnson? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - When former High School King Calvin Joyner (Kevin Hart) is contacted by the most bullied kid of his High School, now calling himself Bob Stone (Dwayne Johnson), it’s sets off a manhunt for a mysterious black market arms dealer, and leads to a string of shoot outs and espionage along the way.

Pros - Kevin Hart and Dwayne Johnson are a great pairing, especially Dwayne as the muscle bound dork, who just has a big heart and hates bullies. I’ve never been a big Hart fan, but the man plays a great straight man (in the comedic sense.) The comedic timing of not only the two  of them are great, but the surprising cameo appearances all get their own moments as well. The action scenes, shoot outs, and chases are all pretty good to boot. The story for the most part flows together quite well too.

Cons - They have a few cliched moments in here, including my least favorite of the  “Oh he’s not really my friend” stuff which I always hate. They also have this thing of trying to figure out who the bad guy is that comes up way too often, as you can also kind of figure it out quickly if you think about it.

Final Score - 9/10

I debated giving it an 8, but honestly it’s get credit for being a lot better than I thought it would be. It may have been the recent run of mediocre films I’ve seen, but eh, it’s the kind of film you need after a rather slow period of time.

Next - Finding Dory

Hopefully tomorrow, but if not then ASAP.

Links:

Last Review is Here: Did I say mediocre films? Maybe the last review I did was actually pretty good as well. Find out here!

Twitter Account is Here: You’ll get notices when the reviews are live as soon as I post them, plus any trailers, movie news, or updates on when I stream on Twitch. I’m always looking for new followers, and with more followers means more ways for you guys to contribute.

NEW!!! Suggestion Box is Here: Are you sick of gaps in my posts? Why not suggest a film or film series for me to watch? Suggestions will be completed in order received, and if you’d like to leave your name for a suggestion credit and anything you’d like me to promote (within reason) I’d be happy to do that too. This suggestion box will be a permanent fixture of the blog, as again I’d love any and all help you guys want to offer. I know I haven’t gotten to them yet, but please keep submitting them, I will do my hardest to get to them soon.

Twitch Channel is Here: I’ll admit, I don’t quite have a regular streaming schedule worked out, but if you follow either the Twitter account or the channel directly you will be notified whenever I go live.

Until then, I’ll see you folks at the movies.

Movie Review: The Conjuring 2 (2016)

Newest Review is LIVE!!! Is the sequel going to be scary, or scary bad?

Hello All,

    If you read movie news as obsessively as I do, you might have read that a vast majority of this year's sequels are suffering from massive cases of ‘Sequelitis.’ What that means is that they are basically sequels that do nothing to improve upon their predecessor, and mostly show themselves to be an unneeded piece of cinema. By my own count (at the time of writing this) I have personally seen 7 sequels that scored no higher than a 5. That’s not to say all the sequels have been terrible, 3 on my list are in fact perfect 10’s. When you’re batting 30% however, I think most people can agree that’s well below good. So imagine my surprise when I saw that The Conjuring was getting a sequel. Now, a lot of people don’t know this, but it was me watching the first Conjuring on DVD that actually got me back into modern horror movies on the regular again. While I haven’t regretted that decision (mostly, f*ck you unfriended,) I am always apprehensive about horror sequels. We all know that the spin off film Annabelle was considered pretty bad, but what about a sequel, based on another true story of Ed and Lorraine Warren? Let’s find out together shall we?

Plot Summary - One year after their investigation of the Amityville horror launches them into the public spotlight, Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga) are called to England, to investigate The Enfield poltergeist.

Pros - The cast is solid, especially Madison Wolfe as the young Janet Hodgson, who manages to capture the dread and terror of each situation excellently. The cinematography is really great too, especially as how they manage to keep creepy vibes even in the daytime scenes. The story is well written, and the scares are still quite effective. One scene in particular managing to get me to yell ‘Oh Fuck!’ quite loudly.

Cons - It takes quite a long time for the movie to get started, considering it’s 2h 15m. It’s also got a few jump scares and fake outs, the fake outs in particular getting a bit grating. The ending is also a little corny as well.

Final Score - 8/10

Since I didn’t do a review of the first Conjuring, let’s give that one a 9/10 while I’m here. Overall, this is a pretty scary film that, while not quite as good as it’s predecessor, does manage to be a pretty solid follow up.

Next - Central Intelligence. Mostly because I won't make it in time for Dory's opening night.

Links:

Last Review is Here: Will my previous review have a sequel of it’s own in the future? Find out here!

Twitter Account is Here: You’ll get notices when the reviews are live as soon as I post them, plus any trailers, movie news, or updates on when I stream on Twitch. I’m always looking for new followers, and with more followers means more ways for you guys to contribute.

NEW!!! Suggestion Box is Here: Are you sick of gaps in my posts? Why not suggest a film or film series for me to watch? Suggestions will be completed in order received, and if you’d like to leave your name for a suggestion credit and anything you’d like me to promote (within reason) I’d be happy to do that too. This suggestion box will be a permanent fixture of the blog, as again I’d love any and all help you guys want to offer.

Twitch Channel is Here: I’ll admit, I don’t quite have a regular streaming schedule worked out, but if you follow either the Twitter account or the channel directly you will be notified whenever I go live.

Until next time, I’ll see you folks at the movies.