Hello All,
So yeah, I found myself with a lot of time to kill today, so I decided to do some catching up with a movie that’s been out for a few weeks and then tackle the new release...I regret both of those things, why? well let’s find out shall we?
Vacation Review
Plot Summary - Decades after the original family trip to Wally World, Rusty Griswold (Ed Helms) and his family are stuck in a rut, so he decides to recreate his childhood trip to wally world and hijinks ensue and does anyone really care?
Pros - There were exactly three jokes I laughed at, it was two actual scenes and one off joke.
Cons - The rest of the jokes are either pointlessly crude or bizarrely missing a punchline. There was even an actual moment in the movie that made me get up and leave for ten minutes. I didn’t even leave Pixels for any amount of time.
Final Score - 3/10
The three jokes I laughed at, were all legitimately funny. So you know, it gets a point per joke because of that.
Fantastic Four Review
Plot Summary - Reed Richards (Miles Teller) and Ben Grimm (Jamie Bell) have been friends since childhood, building Reed’s invention in his garage. When one of them gets the attention of Dr. Franklin Storm (Reg E. Cathey). Drafting his daughter Sue (Kate Mara), his son Johnny (Michael B. Jordan) and former student Victor Von Doom (Toby Kebbell) to help, an accident causes them to get powers and once again that’s about it.
Pros - The Human Torch and The Thing looked kind of good, and the film has a few unintentional laughs and doom looks hilariously awful.
Cons - The best way to describe this film is that it’s a ninety minute build up to an ending that comes out of nowhere and has little to no impact on anything. It’s all exposition and describing how serious and important everything is and nothing happens in it. It took me a legit five minutes to come up with just that summary and even then I don’t think that’s right.
Final Score - 1/10
This is a movie where nothing happens in it. It’s literally a movie about nothing. This might as well be an episode of seinfeld because nothing happens in it. Except if this was actually Seinfeld it be better.
Yeah today was not a good day, but before I go, I have a matter of business to attend to. I recently became a mod for a streamer friend of mine whose channel you can find here http://www.twitch.tv/savagehero93. He mostly does WoW and hearthstone but if you love watching streams and want to be in on the ground floor of the next great legendary gamer, you owe it to yourself to follow him and watch him as often as possible.
Shaun the Sheep will be the next and that will most likely be tomorrow.
Until then, I’ll see you guys at the movies.
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