(Potential spoiler warning, as always)
So, the next few weeks movie wise are looking, pretty blah. Hell even this weekend was pretty much pointless. It was either another crappy found footage horror film (I could write a thesauras about this genre) or a pierce brosnan spy thriller where he isn't James Bond. I only debated seeing it because I could make a pun about the name of the film and it's relevance to my birthday and that would've been the lamest reason ever for me to see a movie.
So I decided to watch something off of the beaten path. I joined something called the first weekend club, a group that goes and watches the limited released Canadian films on opening weekend to try and improve their chances for a wider release. I get updates every once in a while when a new one is nearby. Since this was a slow weekend, I decided to watch one of the news one out this weekend. I chose, Swearnet, made by the same guys who made the trailer park boys.
Now, I currently live in Nova Scotia, where the show is based. I've even met some of the crew of certain seasons. They're basically considered a treasure and an industry around here. Swearnet and Don't Legalize were very heavily advertised here. I have no idea about the rest of the country, also, I've never actually watched trailer park boys. I don't really like television, so I went into Swearnet completely blind. Oh boy, where do I start?
Plot Summary - There's basically one plot and two subplots, but I couldn't tell you which one's which. The three guy play themselves though so that helps....I think. But for those of you who don't know their real names, I'll out their TPB names next to them at first.
All three of them are trying to move on from Trailer Park Boys, but when CNT (Canadian National Television) rejects their new ideas, Mike Smith (Bubbles) decides to make their own internet channel swearnet. And for the rest of the movie he films stuff to upload to the site, and there is a thing where he owns a loanshark money for financing the thing, but he basically does what we the audience do and mostly ignore him for 99% of the movie.
John Paul (Julian) is going to compete in a road rally with the ashes of his dad by his side, and Robb Wells (Ricky) has to deal with a psycho girlfriend. Honestly, these are barely worth going into, even though the race is the central event in this movie, again sort of.
And that's basically the thing with this movie, it's all over the place. Like it's never bad eough that it breaks your concentration but at the same time it just feels sort of......flat.
Pros - Honestly, I still have trouble figuring out whats really good about this movie. It was marketed as a comedy, but aside from a few laughs it wasn't over the top funny or anything. It did actually feel really heartfelt for John Paul's story, ad the three guys get along well. Hell I didn't even mind the swearing, supposedly they broke the record but I haven't checked that. I guess the best thing I can say about this movie is that it isn't awful. It also used a Queens of the Stone Age song in the credits which was awesome. Actually that might have been the best part.
Cons - The three story lines barely raise above average. The stakes feel really low. Also Tom Green and Carrot Top are very heavily present in the last half of the film. One of Tom's lines also has him trying to defend Freddy Got Fingered. I had only one finger to present to him when he said it. Also one of the songs they use in the movie was from the Ride to Hell video game. Swear to god. Also Robb Wells story ends when they shoe horn in a love interest practically out of nowhere. Like they barely talk to each other and then in the end they start dating. What the fuck?
Final Score - 4/10
I struggled with the score, even while writing this. But in the end, if your story has no stakes, fails as a comedy, and has Tom Green trying to defend his shitty career, I can't even call it average. It's meh, it's a thing that exists that I can barely recommend unless you like TPB. If it was flat out bad, it would've gotten a 2 or 3, but I can't give it a 5 in good conscience.
It's going to be a slow few weeks folks, expect DVD and Retro reviews for the next while. Unless I decide to go back and watch some of the releases I didn't catch.
Until next time, I'll see you folks at the movies.
No comments:
Post a Comment